How To Be Authentic (Ultimate How To Be Yourself Guide)

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How To Be Yourself

People who are authentic are naturally more charismatic and have a sense of ease in their presence. Being simply OK with themselves, they act in a way that is in accordance with who they TRULY are.

But how did these people become this way? Were they born like this? Most likely not.

Chances are that they were created into this. They molded themselves either consciously or subconsciously.

But if you want to be one of these people. The select few who are incredibly authentic, then I have a guide for you my friends. On how to be authentic and live a more peaceful life, simply being yourself.

Below are 21 of the best tips known to man on how to be authentic!

Enjoy

How To Be Authentic Starting Today

Define The Real You

First off, in order to be authentic, we need to define who we are and what we really stand for. Without doing this, we can never truly operate from an authentic place. What are the things you stand for, and/or truly resonate deep within you? Do you value loyalty, honesty, integrity, courage, being loud, being quiet, being active, being compassionate, having a strong ego and opinion. Whatever it is, list it out. Don’t judge yourself for it, simply write it out.

These are the things that are the real you. But as you go through these, before you write them down in stone, question if this is coming from a place of wanting approval from others. Dig deep on your core values to make sure they are YOUR core values and not on your list because you think it is what your parents, teachers or other individuals want you to be. Or that you want to be that way to please others.

Then, if it isn’t on your list of core values and things you stand for, you need to list being authentic on or near the top. If it isn’t then it will never be on the forefront of your mind enough to ever become authentic. If it is up there, you will naturally gravitate towards acting in a way that feels and is the more authentic you.

Also, most of the answers that you will get will come from your head. But question them with your heart. Your heart knows your true desires and will give you more authentic answers than you would get coming from your head.

List Out The False You

Analyze who you have been acting like. Or what characteristics you have taken on that aren’t coming from the authentic you. List them out and evaluate them. Then when you catch yourself acting in ways that are on this list, simply shift gears and get back to operating off of our core values and the things you stand for.

Become Aware Of When You Are Being The False You

The next step to being authetic is simply becoming aware of when you aren’t being authentic. Just remind yourself at that point to shift gears and act from a more authentic place. Often times we adapt to other people that we are talking to. Which can be great for building rapport. As we are all chamelons to an extent. That is just human nature. But when we are acting like them outside of simply building rapport. Or acting like someone else that we are not in order to have someone like us more, then we need to get back to our true self.

Keep Growing

I know that with myself, the more I grow as a person through reading personal development books, audios and pursuing my passions, the more I am simply OK with myself. The more I do so, the better I am at naturally acting like myself. There is more of an ease to it to where I am simply OK being me. Actually it feels good being me, whereas before, when I was trying to be more authentic, it would feel weird. Now I relish in the things that make me me.

The things that people don’t like about me, I simply don’t care. I don’t adapt myself to them just to please them or being more pleasing to be around. But this persona wasn’t created overnight. It was chiseled away from the fake me over and over again until more and more of the real me was revealed.

Now don’t get me wrong, I still have a ton of personal and inner work to do on myself to become more authentic. But I have noticed massive changes in the ease I feel in just being me. And this has came from working on myself and growing from others peoples work along with engaging in things I am passionate about.

Push Through The Feelings Of Awkwardness 

It is gong to feel weird operating from a place that is the real you. It may look like the new you to other people. You may think people are going to judge you or not like you for being the real you. But most of the time this is just our minds playing games with us. Push through the awkwardness. Because if you don’t you will just keep defaulting to the false you. But if you push through, you will start breaking through towards manifesting the real you more often. Until soon it is a place where you act from subconsciously and don’t have to work hard to do so anymore.

Always Have An Open Mind

When we are closed off and take rigid stances, we can close off the manifestation of our true essence. So you and I need to learn to always have an open mind with the people and situations we encounter. This will allow us to be less judgemental and not as rigid in our approach. Not trying to be black and white and force our personalities in into a non-adaptable box. Authentic people are open and non-judgmental and are open to hearing everyone’s side of the story.

I am not saying we need to be pushovers. Always put in your opinion. But you and I should know when to set our pride aside and adapt ourselves to new mindsets and points of view.

It also shows people that you aren’t trying to be a know it all. Which is a dead ringer for someone who is acting in an inauthentic way.

A great article talks about how we can become more open minded, offering tips that include:

  1. Take a emotionally charged subject and take the other side of the one you support. This can include things like prayer in school, abortion, current affairs, the president, same sex marriage, etc. This will allow you to see points of view from the other side of the table.
  2. Think back to a time where you were wronged by an individual from your past. Then create three viable reasons in which the person wronged you. Whether it was intentional or inadvertently.

The article also talks about how the best way to learn how to create open mindedness is to work on doing so when things aren’t to emotionally charged with people. So start small and learn to create an open mind in less emotionally charged scenarios then build your way up!

Don’t Worry About Disappointing People

When it comes down to it, when we start to break down our false selves, we worry about what people will think about us. We think that they won’t like us as much or that we will seem boring. But the truth of the matter is that people love authenticity. It is a breath of fresh air for people. It gives them permission to be their authentic self. If people don’t like the new and authentic you, then screw them! They don’t need or deserve to be in your life anyway.

No one is perfect. And when we stop front like we are and simply act in accordance to who we really are we will more relaxed and at ease. Often times, not caring at all what people think anymore.

Ask Close People Who They Think You Are

Often times the closest people in our lives know and see the real us even better than we can. This is because they love us for the real us and not for the other personas we have created that are not the real us.

You may have noticed that the closest people in our lives often times are enjoying us the most when we are feeling and acting in a way that is the true us. We feel natural and they love it the most.

Ask these people what they love about you the most. And what traits that they feel are the true us. This can give us insight to help us create more authentic selves.

See Through The Illusion

Often times we see people who are appear to have it all together. But when it comes down to it, these people are often dealing with the same struggles as we are. Often times the people I thought were the happiest with themselves ended up being the most miserable.

Don’t Feel The Need To Be Happy All The Time

This is more than faking it til you make it. People who walk around with smiles pasted on their face all day often have the most insecurities. They feel the need to mask everything and act like everything is perfect when it really isn’t. You can never be authentic if you are faking your happiness. It isn’t relatable either. No one is happy all the time and people can sense when someone is fronting like they have it all together. Making you appear very inauthentic. Remind yourself that it is simply OK to not have it all together or be happy all the time.

Know That Uniqueness Is Most Attractive

What do we do on the road when a Ferrari or Bentley drives by? We turn and stare and think about how awesome and expensive the car is. Do we do this with every Honda Civic or Jeep Wrangler? No. Because they aren’t authentic and unique. Human beings appreciate unique things. When we create a persona that is more run of the mill, we lose out on manifesting our uniqueness. Which is missing out on being appreciate for the qualities unique to us.

Don’t Lie

When we lie we are trying to be something or someone else than who we really are. When you begin to want to tell a lie, catch yourself and tell the blatant truth. It shows that you have nothing to hide and aren’t trying to act like you are perfect. It shows that you are authentic and human.

Take A Stand

If you truly believe in something, don’t let yourself be swayed by the opinion of others. Stand your ground and hold true to you. When we are swayed by others and cave in, agreeing with them a bit or in fully when we really don’t, we compromise our true selves and often times lose ourselves in the process and forget who we are. Taking a stand is part of helping you start to remember and own who you really are.

Love Yourself

The true reason we act in ways that are not in accordance with our true self is that we want other peoples approval. When you catch yourself trying to adapt your personality to someone else’s simply stop trying to do so and give yourself some love. You will feel the same feelings of approval you would get if you finally got the other persons approval. But it will be much easier! Have your own back, there is no crime in that!

Pursue Your Passions

One of the most tried and true ways you can find yourself, your true self, is by engaging in your passion. That is when you are acting out of a deep sense of inner acceptance. The more you do it, the more you act that way in every area of your life. You are giving yourself permission to be the real you.

Another way you can act in a way that you do when you are living your passion is to ask yourself how you act when you are engaging in passions. Then act that way more and more in your daily life.

Realize You Won’t Ever Build Good Relationships

If you aren’t being true, vulnerable and real, then every relationship you have will always be on a basis of falsehood. You will never get to know the person truly and wholeheartedly and vice versa. You are short changing the both of you. Remember this and act authentically because of it in order to achieve more meaningful relationships with both other people along with yourself.

Be Vulnerable 

Being vulnerable is breaking down the walls that show the illusion that we are perfect and have it all together. A couple tips to be more vulnerable include:

  1. Accepting That You Are Worthy – Know that you are worthy enough to recieve a positive response back to the people you are being vulnerable with. The article talking about how vulnerability researcher Brene Brown talks about how the one variable that separates those who struggle for a sense of love and well being and those who have it is that they feel as if they are worth of loving and belonging.
  2. Know And Catch The Fleeing Feeling – Often times when we are about to be vulnerable, we catch ourselves and close off. In order to stop this we need to know this feeling and catch it when it comes on. Then push though it. If you miss another chance to be vulnerable, it is OK. Just evaluate it by journaling it out and learn from it the next time a situation comes up that will allow you to be vulnerable.
  3. Know You Can Handle The Outcome – Know that you have the emotional strength and capacity to deal with any situation that comes out of you being vulnerable. That everything will be OK. Know that you can lick your wounds and grow from it.

Don’t mistake vulnerability for weakness. At the end of the day, the strongest people are the most vulnerable and relateable. I mean just think about the people you admire and like the most. Lets say your favorite music artist. Are they run of the mill and similar to everyone else in the genre?

Or do the bare their heart and soul, allowing us to connect to them and admire them for being that brutally honest and open? I know for myself it is the second. Be the same. Even ask yourself how your favorite artist would act and act in accordance to that.

You Are Not Your Past

Your past isn’t you. Although we feel as if we are our past, our past is simply things that happened to us. When we define ourselves too much by our past, we identify with it too much. This blocks our true self from manifesting itself. Once we let go of the past, we will be able to show our true selves to the world. And often re-show it to ourselves as it has been so long.

Ditch Self Pity

In order to manifest our true and authentic personality, we need to stop with the self pity. When we are stuck in self pity, we are suppressing all that is good and natural about ourselves. We are trapped in negative emotions and are blocking our true identity from shining through. We are also digging our own grave and living a miserable life when we don’t need to be. Remind yourself that you are bigger than it and that something great and beautiful can come out of every situation. See the things you pity about yourself as things to grow and learn from. And teach others lessons from. You can rise above them and be a warrior that won’t let anything drag you down, only make you better. Instead of focusing on the negative as well do when we are in self pity mode. Focus on all the positive things in your life. This will allow the positive and loving natural essence to shine through and crush all other self pity!

A great article talks about the steps to getting rid of self pity. It starts with talking about how when you catch yourself in a state of self pity, remind yourself that you are bigger than it. Keep cultivating a desire to be the master of your fate, not letting other people or things dictate how you act. That you are bigger than your ego response to go into victim mode.

Also commit yourself to not talking to others or yourself about how bad things are or the story that you have created about how things are not lining up in your life. Just stop completely. Realize that it is not doing anything for you! It is only making your repeat the cycle of self pity over and over again.

Then start plucking the things out of your life that you are feeling pity about. Say your boss is not treating you right at work. Then you need to start looking for a better job that will allow you to be treated right. It isn’t your fault that your boss is treating you like trash. But it is your responsibility to change your situation so that you don’t have to deal with it any longer.

Lastly, turn your focus outwards. The fastest and possibly best way to stop feeling bad for ourselves is to do something for others. It crushes our ego and lets us feel good and happy as we are giving ourselves to something bigger than our ego needs of wanting to relish in self pity.

Harken Back To A Time When You Hit Bottom

At the end of the day, the most authentic us shows up when we are at are lowest point. No matter if it is bottom or simply a low point. Think back to a time when you were going through it. How did you act and how did you treat and open up to people. For me, when I hit rock bottom, I was completely open with people. I stopped caring about putting on a facade simply because I didn’t have the physical or mental energy to do so. Because I was trying to claw myself out of the jaws of defeat if you will.

However you acted during that time is pretty congruent with the real you. The authentic you. Yes it may have been the worst time of your life. But it could have and probably did reflect back to you your true self. Act that way in your everyday life. How you did when you were down and out. Now you won’t be trying to come back from hitting rock bottom. You will simply act in accordance to how your authentic self shined through at the time.

Mantra: “Take Me As I am”

The fastest way to living a fake and inauthentic life is to simply want to please everyone. People pleaser’s are caught up in getting pulled all directions. Trying to be this and that to every person they come in contact with. Always changing their personalities to match someone else. The best way to ditch our people pleasing ways is to always think “Take me as I am”. Simply adopting the mindset that you are present yourself to the world. Here you are. Take it or leave it. The people that take you are meant to be in your life, the ones that leave were never meant to be there in the first place. It will help you get out with the old and in with the new you. And keep the people around that are going to be part of your life for the long term.

71 Authenticity Quotes

  1. “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” – Aristotle

  2. “I’d rather be honest and authentic and disappoint some people, than to exhuast myself trying to keep up the facade of perfection.”

  3. “Finding your passion isn’t just about careers and money. It’s about finding your authentic self. The one you’ve buried beneath other’s needs.” – Kristin Hannah

  4. “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” E.E. Cummings

  5. “Be the person you want to have in your life.”

  6. “Authenticity is when you say and do the things you actually believe in.” – Simon Sinek

  7. “Being authentic will radiate more pure energy than trying to be an ideal you.” -Christina Lonsdale

  8. “Be the same person privately, publically and personally.” – Judah Smith

  9. “Authenticity starts in the heart.” – Brian D’Angelo

  10. “The authentic self is the soul made visible.” – Sara Ban Breathnach

  11. “A successful life is an authentic life. Happiness and creativity rest on a foundation of transparency to yourself and others. Knowing your own heart and speaking clearly to others keeping you on the path.” – Gay Hendricks

  12. “Being your authentic self is the ultimate secret to happiness in your life.” – Sheri Fink

  13. “When you are authentic, you create a certain energy. People want to be around you because you are unique.” – Andie MacDowell

  14. “Tune into your truth. Live it. Breath It. Beam it.”

  15. “Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.” – Coco Chanel

  16. “The universe cannot resist authenticity.”

  17. “There is nothing more beautiful than your authentic self.”

  18. “Don’t trade your authenticity for approval.”

  19. “If you’re your authentic self, you have no competition.”

  20. “I am not beautiful like you, I am beautiful like me.”

  21. “Scare the world. Be exactly who you say you are and tell the truth.”

  22. “To thine own self, be true.”

  23. “Don’t torture yourself trying to make someone see something they cannot see, or believe something they do not believe. Just stay true to your vision for yourself.” – Bryant McGill

  24. “The truth is, belonging starts with self-acceptance. Your level of belonging, in fact, can never be greater than your level of self-acceptance, because believing that you are enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic, vulnerable and imperfect.” – Brene Brown

  25. “The authentic self is the soul made visible.”

  26. “Authenticity requires vulnerability, transparency and integrity.”

  27. “Less perfection, more authenticity.”

  28. “When you show up authentic, you create the space for others to do the same. Walk in your truth.”

  29. “True beauty is really about being authentic and owning your uniqueness.” –

  30. “Find the courage to be authentic. Not everyone will like you, but no one can if they don’t get a chance to to know you.” – Lori Deschene

  31. “If you trade your authenticity for safety, you may experience the following: Anxiety, depression, eating disorders, addiction, rage, blame, resentment and inexplicable grief.” – Brene Brown

  32. “Authenticity is not something we have or don’t have. It’s a practice, a conscious choice of how we want to live. Authenticity is a collection of a choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let out true selves be seen.” – Brene Brown

  33. “If you are your authentic self, you have no competition.”

  34. “Authenticity is the most attractive garment you could ever wear.”

  35. “An authentic live is the most personal form of worship. Everyday life has become my prayer.” – Sarah Ban Breathnach

  36. “Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” – Brene Brown

  37. “Authenticity is the alignment of head, mouth, heart and feet, thinking, saying, feeling and doing the same thing consistently. This builds trust, and followers love leaders they can trust.” – Lance Secretan

  38. “By being yourself you put something wonderful in the world that was not there before.” – Edwin Elliot

  39. “Remind yourself that you cannot fail at being yourself.” – Wayne Dyer

  40. “People just want to watch people live their authentic lives and share the good and the bad. You can have fun and be a positive influence and have a good impact. And it can still be entertaining.” – Tyler Oakley

  41. “It’s better to be an authentic loser than a false success and to die alive than to live dead.” – William Markiewicz

  42. “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

  43. “Work hard and be authentic. Everything else will fall into place.” – Jessica Matthews

  44. “I had no idea that being my authentic self could make me so rich. Otherwise, I’d have done it a lot earlier.” – Oprah Winfrey

  45. “Be your authentic self. Your authentic self is who you are when you have no fear of judgement, or before the world starts pushing you around and telling you who you’re supposed to be. Your fictional self is who you are when you have a social mask on to please everyone else. Give yourself permission to be your authentic self.” – Phil McGraw

  46. “Create a life that feels good on the inside. Not one that just looks good on the outside.”

  47. “Be authentic. Speak sincerely. Listen thoughtfully. Act compassionately and love. Always love. What we bring to life becomes our life.”

  48. “To become authentic, we require a thirst for freedom, freedom from psychological traumas from self-pity, from self-preserving fearful ideas, from primitive instinctual behavior and from dogmatic ideals that have been taught to us throughout our entire lives.” – Don Mateo Sol

  49. “When you are your authentic self, you fulfill the dream that lives inside your soul.”

  50. “You are here not to shrink down less, but to blossom into more of who you really are.” – Oprah

  51. “An authentically powered person lives in love. Love is the energy of the soul. Love is what heals the personality. There is nothing that cannot be healed by love. There is nothing but love.” – Gary Zukav

  52. “The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love and to be greater than our suffering.” – Ben Okri

  53. “Living your purpose is about being in alignment with your best and most authentic self.” – Stacey Mastins

  54. “To discover our soul potential, we have to trust ourselves and courageously let go of all that inhibits the expression of our authentic selves.” – Dr. Debra L. Reble

  55. “When you walk in your truth, your dreams unfold, igniting a brilliant flame, hard to resist. It is being authentic, realizing your worth and communing with your tribe.” – Anna Pereira

  56. “The authentic self will come through when you’re no longer performing, pretending, or denying – when you are true to yourself. Being authentic is a moment to moment proposition. It’s a never-ending journey.”

  57. “False positivity in the face of tough emotions can keep us from experiencing authentic happiness.”

  58. “She threw away all of her soul masks, and put on her soul.”

  59. “Be authentic, not unique.” – Manushiba Dayma

  60. “Authenticity is not needing external approval to feel good about your actions.” – The Lively Show

  61. “Vulnerability is the pathway to an authentic life.” – Debra L. Reble

  62. “Faith to me is believing without seeing, it’s how you live your life, how you are authentic.” – Jim Caviezel

  63. “I’ve always tried to stay true to my authentic self. I think sometimes people project things on you, but I’m trying to handle everything that’s happened to me with a certain amount of grace, dignity and good manners. You just can’t necessarily win all the time.” – Katie Couric

  64. “While the world does their best to mold you into a cookie cutter version of everyone else, a great spouse is there to encourage you to simply be your best, kind, loving, authentic and perfectly imperfect.” – Fawn Weaver

  65. “Our deepest calling is to grow into our own authentic self-hood, whether or not it conforms to some image of who we ought to be. As we do so, we will not only find the joy that every human being seeks. We will also find our path of authentic service to the world.” – Parker J. Palmer

  66. “The authentic self is the best part of a human being. It’s the part of you that already cares, that is already passionate about evolution. When your authentic self miraculously awakens and becomes stronger than your ego, then you will truly begin to make a difference in this world. You will literally enter into a partnership with the creative principle.” – Andrew Cohen

  67. “Hard times arouse an instinctive desire for authenticity.” – Coco Chanel

  68. “Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.” – Harvey Fierstein

  69. “Surround yourself with people you can be authentic with.” – Pat Hiban

  70. “Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.” – Brene Brown

  71. “Be congruent, be authentic, be your true self.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Conclusion To How To Be Yourself

So there you are my good friends. A step by step guide on how to be yourself and be authentic. I truly hope you enjoyed it and got value from it. I would love to hear about what you thought about the article. What your favorite tip was. And if you have anything to add.

Lets talk in the comment section below!

Have a great day my friends!

 

Chris

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