How to Start To Value Yourself
First off, lets talk about what we really mean when we talk about how to value youself. It sounds pretty basic but lets delve deeper to get the most out of this post!
I think the website really puts in into perspective on what it means to value yourself. They liken it to looking at a da Vinci painting focusing on the beautiful aspects of the gem instead of focusing on the cracks that it has suffered over the years of being on display. If there are cracks, you treat it well, like the glorious and stunning artifact that it is, keeping it out of natural forces that may cause destruction to it, like sunlight.
So what the author is essentially saying is that we can value ourselves in the same way as we do a beautiful peice of art. You can focus on the improvement of the good aspects of ourselves and either not put emphasis on the “bad” parts, or better yet focus on bettering them, creating an even higher level of self worth and self love.
The article also talks about how to value oneself goes beyond regarding the valued item, in this case you, as more than just important. You invest time in it, put in effort as well as sacrifice when it comes to maintaining and bettering you.
Believe You Can Feel More Valuable!
But right before we look into the other lessons on how to value yourself more, I want to encourage you to BELIEVE that you can value yourself more. It all starts with a belief in anything in life that you can become something you desire. The same is true with increasing self-worth. Believe that you can create more self-worth, simply because of the fact that there have been many before who have wanted more of it and were able to attain it.
Look Inward & Self Evaluation
Starting to value yourself means that what you have done thus far has sent you on a search for methods to value yourself more. I don’t want to sound harsh but what you have done thus far hasn’t gotten you the results you are looking for. So looking inward and endulging in a cup of self evaluation can create a pathway towards you valuing yourself more.
Below are 3 big questions that take some courage at looking at, but can bring you so much more internal value when answered and potentially acted upon:
1.) Things that we can look at are things like “Do I really love what I am doing for a living”
Often times we choose to do something for a living that we didn’t really chose. Instead we chose if because of the programs in our mind. Programs about how it is what your parents wanted for you. Or even the opposite, you took a job or career out of resentment or rebellion and wanted to do the opposite of what someone wanted for you.
It is only when we are doing what we truly love that we feel the ultimate satisfaction. It is when we can truly find a lot more inner peace and opperate from our truest self and potential. By default, we will value ourselves more because we aren’t acting from falsehood or any other negative emotion or reason.
2.) Am I who I really want to be with?
Often times we will choose a relationship out because of reasons outside the fact that it is meant to be. Often times we feel alone and can get into the wrong relationship to fill that void. Or we stick around too long because we are scared of being alone or getting hurt. Or even how we will appear to other people if we aren’t in a “happy relationship”.
3.) Are You Happy Living Where You Do?
Again living somewhere is often a choice our of avoiding change. Often times we grow up in certain places and want to stay there because it is comfortable. Our friends are here and we have lived there forever, might as well stick around. But maybe you would be happier moving to a place that you have secretely always had your heart set on. Switching up where you live can bring you more experiences and friendships.
Allow you to experience different perspectives and even seasons. It can also allow you to grow a ton and not resent the place where you live. Just a suggestion, but doing this could allow you to value yourself more because you will move for you.
It will be scary but when it’s done you will grow from it which will create a more grounded and solid you. This alone will bring you more intrinsic value. And hey, you can always move back if you don’t like it! Which if you do, then you will at least have the experience of switching it up as well as have the confidence that you acted upon what may have caused you great fear in the past.
See Through the Social Media Illusion
Social media has everyone portraying that they have the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend, perfect job, perfect car, perfect family. I don’t know how it became this way, but it can really have an effect on you after a while. Just take one minute and scroll through Instagram and every picture you pass up will make you feel less and less like you have your stuff together because everyone else “does”.
A big step towards valuing yourself more into to see through the bullshit illusion that everyone has their life together and you don’t. The people who post everyday with a smile pasted on their face or about how everything is so grand are usually the people that are the most screwed up!
Freeing yourself from the burden of having to appear perfect and knowing that no on has the perfect like can allow you to feel better about yourself and your current situations. It will take the weight off your shoulders and allow you to value yourself so much more.
Remember my friends, we live in a world where you can BUY online likes, friends, followers. The sad thing is that people do this. Sad in the fact that we have resulted to needing approval so bad that we buy it. Again, this is just a point I wanted to make to allow you to see through the illusion, not to pick on anyone.
Here is a great video to give you perspective on how big of a deal this subject real is.
Snap The Measuring Stick In Half
I came across a great article on this subject that talked more along the lines of the last tip of seeing through the illusion. But this was a tad different, which the gist of if was to snap the yardstick in half that you use to measure yourself against others.
My favorite part of the article is when the writer talks about how instead of becoming jealous when you see someone who has something you want or is behaving like how you want to be, refrain from being jealous. Instead replace that feeling of jealousy that you would normally fell with a feeling of admiration as well as INSPIRATION. Use it to inspire you to become better like them instead of being jealous that they are the way you want to be. A super cool perspective!
Which brings me to the next point. All of us are in some way, shape or form trying to keep up with the Jones’. We have set a measurement of where we are and where we want to be because of reasons outside of simply try to reach our full potential. Set your own yardstick. Choose to get to the level that the Jones’ are or past that for yourself, not to keep up with the status quo. Do things for you. Give yourself permission to be selfish with your ambition. Do things for you.
At the end of the day, it is YOU vs YOU. That is truly all you can compare yourself to. If you progress from where you were a day ago, a week ago a year ago, then you are winning my friend.
A healthy body image can create an entirely new you. When you reshape your body, you actually reshape the image of yourself. Your personal image can make or break huge levels of self worth. The mental and emotional transformation that you get by working out hugely surpasses the physical transformation. Yes you will get results and feel better about your body, but your mindset will get stronger as well. That is where true transformation starts!
Whatever you put out into the universe, it has to come back to you. This is literally one of the laws of the universe. Being that this is the case, if you envy someone that you think that may be more confident or seem to value themselves more, then you will continue that perpetual circle of self hate.
Its’s just like someone who wants to be rich but is jealous of rich people. You are literally reinforcing your mindset on not attracting wealth, because you resent rich people. Subconsciously, you see rich people as bad people, never allowing you to attract the amount of wealth you want.
The same is true of valuing yourself. But if you appreciate others and put value in others, whether that be a stranger or someone you know. If you value them, you will inturn start to value yourself more.
Seek Constant Improvement
In order to keep the value of ourselves high, we must constantly be focused on improving ourselves. Never be satisfied or content. We can always get better. Invest in yourself as much as you can because you are your biggest and greatest investment. The quote that resonates the most with our topic that comes to mind is:
“Nothing will change unless you change” – Jim Rohn
If we expect to change something in our lives, we can’t continue to do the same thing over and over, expecting something different to happen. But once we start to better ourselves, everything in our life gets better. We begin to think and live more abundantly and attract better scenarios, opportunities and people into our lives that would never have shown up in our lives if we didn’t seek constant improvement.
Here is a great video from motivational speaker Les Brown on the subject to get you started with some awesome self improvement!
Forgiveness, along with gratitude, is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. It liberates us from the invisible but very real shackles that we are wearing. First start with forgiving yourself. Whatever flaw you think that you may have, forgive yourself for having it. From there you can analyze it deeper and see its falsehood. Forgive yourself for anything that creates a negative charge in your body. Mistakes are to be made in life, that’s how we grow. But if we don’t grow from them then they are opportunities wasted.
Once you have worked on forgiving ourselves for our mistakes or flaws, then move onto forgiving others. The more you do this, the lighter you will feel. This is literally spiritual growth my friends. Almost nothing is faster at allowing you to attain more intrinsic value then spiritual growth.
Visualize Yourself FEELING Self Worthy
Everything that is in the physical realm was once just a thought that manifested into the material world. The same can be true about yourself. Visualize yourself as worth and abundant with self love. Even more important, feel how it would feel to feel that way! Do this often enough and it will create the subconscious belief that you deeply value yourself.
Put Yourself First
Learning to say no to people can allow you to not be taken advantage of. Even if it’s not on purpose, this can happen to people who say yes too much. Loving yourself and attaining more value in yourself can come down to saying no to people and situations in order for you to get what YOU need.
Whether that be more rest, alone time or free you up to work on some of your passion projects. Saying NO will help you carve our more time for those things. It will also allow you to take the power back and put you in the drivers seat of your life. This feeling of control will definitely allow you start to value yourself more.
Look For Love Within
We are all seeking love in almost every action we do in this life, in one way or another. How about this, take 5 minutes and love yourself or other people. You’ll see that it not only feels amazing, it helps us feel better about ourselves. Also like we talked about above, whatever you put out into the universe must come back, you will start to receive love, usually from unexpected sources.
Love is the most powerful force in the universe, everyone is looking for it. Why don’t you be the one to provide it to people? Also, consider this. By thinking 3 loving thoughts, you can counteract an entire day of negative thoughts. That’s how powerful love is.
I came across a great article by Dr. Deborah Anderson that talks about how self-love is the secret to health. It talks about how when you are self loving you actually allow yourself to gravitate towards healthier decisions and stray away from self-destructive habits that you may have acted on in the past.
Get A New Group
“Surround yourself with people who are only going to lift you higher”. – Oprah Winfrey
The old saying of “You become the average of your 5 friends” also applies to self worth. If you hang out with people that are negative and don’t truly value and love themselves, you will actually be lucky to become the average of them. Surround yourself with people who are going to support your growth and will provide you encouragement.
Negative people can unfortunately come in the form of family and best friends. But no matter who they are, they are anchors dragging down. Get rid of those anchors so that you can truly sail as far as you can.
If you can’t find better people to hang out with right away, then maybe it’s time to go underground and just focus on yourself. Learning to hangout with yourself and be cool with it is a valuable quality to have that can boost self worth. Also, its a quality that most people simply don’t have. This will give you the best opportunity for self reflection because you will have less distractions, forcing you if you will let it, to expose the things you need to work on, then work on them!
Rock Solid Integrity
When you don’t keep your word it bleeds into everything that happens in your life. You don’t value yourself
I read an awesome blog post on the subject that expanded nicely on the subject saying in similar words that without integrity it become harder to really have a sense of where you are. Essentially what I took from this is that your integrity is literally your compass. Without a compass, a traveler will get lost. So creating the best internal compass possible can be done by creating awesome integrity. Integrity that people know that they know that you are going to do what you say.
The author also provokes her readers to ask the question, do their actions and attitude line up with your personal integrity. Or where you want it to be, is what I took from this. An awesome question to incorporat
Create your integrity compass so that you will never be lost.
Create A List Of What You Value About Yourself
The mind, unfortunately has a default setting that almost always goes to the negative. Ask yourself what you value about yourself and you are likely to get silence or “nothing”. But that is bull my friends. You can really see what you value about yourself by writing things it out. It may be hard at first.
Try to simply find 3 things you value about yourself. Then the next day, write 3 more. Continue this for the week. It will not only get easier to find more things you value about yourself, but it will also allow you to value yourself more that you are making what you value about yourself visible and conscious.
F*** Peoples Opinions
“Someone’s opinion of you doesn’t have to become your reality”. – Les Brown
At times when people say something that doesn’t resonate with us, we take it personal. It feels like a assault on your core being. But the thing is is that we have the power to interpret the events that happen to us and how we react to them.
We will all face opposition in this life and even if you don’t react the way you want when it happens, you can always create new image of how you would have wanted to react in your head. Play it over a few times and soon you can replace it with a better scene of you reacting positively.
This is also the case with events that happened in the past. Maybe someone told you that you would never amount to anything, or you would never go anywhere in life. We have all been told something about ourselves that really stuck with us, usually when we are younger and most impressionable.
But this is absolute BS. It usually comes from someone who is just projecting their fears or insecurities and almost never has any truth in it. See it as that. As a matter of fact, laugh at that terrible picture in your head of someone bringing you down. This will dissipate the negative charge around the event. Then you can again replace this scenario with a positive scene. See it how you WOULD HAVE LIKED IT TO HAPPEN.
There you are my friends, 12 ways on how to value yourself more. I really hope you enjoyed it. Remember, the more you utilize these methods, the more you will build your self-worth. It is something that cant be taken from you. It will become so strong that you will become unshakable and allow you to one day be able to help others who were in your shoes. This is where the student becomes the teacher! I believe in you my friend!