How To Communicate
How to communicate effectively? That is the question. Communication is so darn crucial. From the most meaningless to the most meaningful relationships. Effective communication can be the oxygen that keeps relationships alive and thriving. Or it can be the lack of oxygen the temporarily or permanently suffocates are relationship for good.
But how do we communicate effectively? What are the tips and tools we can use to become masters at communication?
Well when it comes to how to communicate effectively, I have jotted out the best ways to communicate below to help us master the art of communication and allow our relationships and lives to thrive and flow much better!
Enjoy my friends.
How To Improve Communication – 27 Tips
1.) Honest & Authenticity
When it comes to how to communicate, we need to come in with complete and utter honesty and authenticity. I think the hardest thing for humans to do is to be authentic. We either hold back as we want to keep our walls up in order to not get hurt or save face. Or we exaggerate things, truths, emotions or scenarios in order to make us or our stories seems better or more entertaining and to add more emphasis to the effect we have on people. So one of the best ways to communicate to people is to be completely honest with all your might. People will feel your authenticity and appreciate it.
We are so used to people exaggerating, lying and even holding back on some of the truths or facts about things we are talking about. People will respect the fact that, although at times tough, you are being completely authentic to them. It seems to speak to a place to people or the need and desire to be respected. When you do this, you satisfy a deep human desire where the connection with this person will be genuine. It will also allow you to build a better relationship with the person and making proper communication much easier with them in the process.
Building this habit with people will also make communication with everyone else easier as you will be breaking through fears that we have with communication. We will begin master it and make communicating with anyone and everyone else much easier.
2.) Get Clarification
When we are at any degree vague about what someone is saying, hinting or even holding back. The best thing to do is to get clarity right away. By getting clarity right away, you will be able to move forward more effectively in your communication with this person. Instead of trying to get clear about it later on, when you may have forgot what it was, or it is too late to circle back to in order to keep communication effective.
3.) Don’t Assume
Often times we forget or refuse to communicate what we really want from the person or people we have relationships with. Romantic, work related, friends family. The best thing to do is to tell these people EXACTLY what you want and need from them. Along with of course, doing the same for them. This can break down the wall of awkwardness between you two. It will allow there to be more trust build in the relationship because you are being real with each other. We all have needs, and when they are satisfied, we can open up more so to the person that is satisfying them. We are more apt to go out of the way for each other and be honest with each other. As we have a feeling of getting each other and feeling each others pain and pleasures. This builds a more emotional bond with someone that allows for both verbal and non verbal communication to flow between you two.
4.) Build Rapport
In order to effectively communicate with people, they need to feel heard. But simply listening to the words they say isn’t truly listening. The way we show people that we are listening to them is by engaging with them verbally, physically and emotionally. If they say certain words, relay them back to them in exact or similar forms. Even repeating a whole entire sentence they say in order to show them that you are trying to get clear and understand what they are saying.
Also if they move in certain ways, cross their arms or feet, take a big sigh of relief, touch their face. All these are little cues we can use to mimic. Mastering the art of communication is hugely reliant on going underground with it. Surface communication is simply using words. Using the art of mirroring and matching with people through physical movement and cues is a great way to begin to connect with people at a much more deeper level than you can literally ever imagine.
The great things about it, as Tony Robbins talks about is that we already tend to do so naturally after a while of talking with people. We naturally get into a flow with people after a certain amount of time that we are conversing. The great thing about it is that by implementing mirroring and matching right off the bat, you can bridge the gap to effective communication much faster. You will be more congisent as well. Instead of it happening passively, you will direct it and your senses will be more heightened. Allowing you to use all your senses more effectively which will allow you to communicate much better.
A great article talks about what posture conveys in a relationship communication. It offers a great tip on leaning in towards people slightly when talking to them. It talks about how it indicates that you are interested in the person you are talking to. But there are different styles of leaning forward during communication. For example you can come off as dejected if you are leaning forward but you are slumping or your head is bowed. But standing erect and learning forward a bit will show that you are truly in tune with what they are saying.
Also, keeping your arms and legs uncrossed as well. This will show them that you are open to what they are saying. It also shows, to our crocodile brain, that we aren’t hiding anything that would hurt them.
5.) Communicate with Emotion Not Words
This goes both ways in a relationship. Again, words are a very small aspect of good communication. Don’t focus on conveying the words you have to say to someone more as the emotions that underlie the the words you are speaking. This goes for good listening skills as well. In order to communicate effectively, we need to learn to more so listen to peoples emotions more than what they are saying. We are emotional beings. We can feel each other better than hear each other. It is a six sense more or less. An innate ability and gift that we all have to have the ability to feel where people are coming from.
To communicate effectively seek to understand people emotionally. When you do this they will open up to you a lot more. Help people translate emotions they are going through and the right words will end up coming out automatically and with ease when you and I learn to do this. Again it goes both ways. When trying to communicate, learn to tell people how you are feeling while trying to speak what is on your mind. This will help people “get” you more and allow you guys to dance through communication much better and more effectively if you were simply just trying to do so off of surface level with only words.
6.) The Power of Silence
Silence allows one to do many things during a conversation. And can be the biggest contribution to effective communication in your everyday life.
It is said that non-verbal communication takes up 55 percent of what communication consists of. Crazy. It also gives you a sense of authority which people will feel more influenced by you and tend to fall into line with your communication style.
Making it easy to communicate your words and feelings with the people around you. It also makes them feel “heard” by you when you implore silence. Often to a point where it is awkward silence. As people will tend to fill this gap of silence up with what they are feeling as people hate awkward silence.
When you do this, people will give you more information that you can use to effectively communicate with them through.
It allows you access to information that you wouldn’t have if you simply interjected as soon as you think they are done speaking. It also allows them to have the floor as long as they need it. As often times we think people are done talking but they aren’t.
This will also give you time to process what people are thinking and come up with a better answer or solution to what they are saying or asking you. It will allow you to show them that you are listening through your response as it will be more in tune with what they were saying or asking you.
As often times we are so eager to put in our part that we end up responding with something that is completely irrelevant or half-hearted as we only really heard some of it.
Also, the great thing about this is that it can allow people to get their own insights when you pause and let them speak. They can come up with answers that can come up when you provoke them to think about what you are talking about. This in turn can allow them to like you more, trust you more and open up to you more.
7.) Everyone Communicates Differently
When we come to the realization the everyone communicates differently, we can learn how to communicate with the people in our lives better. You and I can start to observe patterns that resonate with how they process information and how they communicate information to use. An excellent article talks about how there are 5 different communication styles in which we all tend to fall into one or two. They include:
- Assertive – This is born out of high self esteem and is regarded as the healthiest along with the most effective style of communication. It is in the middle of aggressive communication and passive communication. These people won’t be pushed past their limits and don’t use games or manipulation.
- Aggressive – This comes down to one wanting to win arguments, often times even at the other persons expense. They see their needs as being superior to others and act as if they have more to contribute than anyone else. They are in a position of reacting when they communicate which makes them ineffective in communicating.
- Passive Aggressive – They act out of a deep seated anger but appear as passive. They have an innate feeling of powerlessness and feeling of being overwhelmed. They are undermining and tend to sabotage themselves.
- Submissive – They act as if other peoples needs are more of a priority then their own. That other people have much more to contribute than they do. Often they are apologetic in their approach.
- Manipulative – These people come off as scheming along with have the goal of controlling others that will benefit them. They always seem to have some sort of underlying message and usually the person they are communicating it to are completely unaware of this underlying message.
No matter what style of communication the other person is using. Do your best to match it a bit until you can get into harmony together. Once you are in harmony with the person you are speaking to, you are more easily able to create a style of conversation that is more healthy and constructive.
8.) Communicate Face To Face
There is nothing worse than communication through text or even phone. It takes too long through text and both ways don’t allow you to truly and effective communicate what you are saying and feeling. It can lead to assuming what people are feeling because you are leaving out a crucial sense needed in communication. Your sight. The ability to look at how the person is feeling, how they are moving and then communicate off that. As again, communication is 55 percent of what we are NOT saying. This is especially true for serious matters, but can apply to almost any matter.
It can also allow you to use your intuition better where you can truly feel how someone else is feeling. Or even get a gut feeling that someone may not be telling the truth to you about something.
An article on the subject talks about the importance of face to face communication. It talks about how when you are face to face, you also tend to have more energy as you are feeding off each other. It can allow you to brainstorm better along with be able to solve problems right then and there and squash things.
It also builds trust as you are courageous enough to talk through things together instead of hiding behind the digital world.
It also will allow you to save a ton of time as it is simply way more efficient to do so face to face then with back and forth texts all day. Time is money!
It can also help you not misinterpret things. As with texts and emails, we tend to skim through them and give them a quick look. We can often times respond back with half-ass responses due to this fact because of the fact that we glanced at it.
Or even spun the words around, making us think they they meant something else. Something that may be meant to be heart felt can be seen as the person trying to be passive aggressive. Or anger can be construed as someone trying to act funny.
With face to face communication, we have a greater sense of knowing what the person is truly trying to communicate. Both verbally and emotionally.
9.) Eye Contact
Making eye contact with someone is one of the best ways to have people feel heard by you. They feel as if you are only focused on them and that nothing around you guys matter. The worst is when we are trying to talk to someone, but they are too busy texting or on Instagram. Like why even bother right? Eye contact is one of the highest forms of body language that you can exhibit and use to your advantage to become a good communicator.
When one doesn’t exhibit good eye contact, the person on the other end may also feel as if they have something to hide or are not showing all their cards. As if they are lying about something. The best way to build trust with someone and have better communication with people is by looking them in the eye.
Not for too long of course as this can make them feel awkward. But enough to ensure that they know, for sure, that you are honed in on what they are saying and value what they are saying enough to not be distracted by other things around you.
They can also take lack of eye contact as if you don’t like them or want the conversation to be over. You can also read a person by looking at their eyes, as every thing is in the eyes. You can see literally every emotion and almost read peoples thoughts if you look at their eyes close enough.
This can allow you to become a more intuitive communicator that will allow people to feel as if you are taking the words right out of their mouth. They will feel as if you you “get” them this way and will build better connection with them. Also it will allow them to put down their guard and open up to you more. Allowing you to communicate longer and more deeply with people.
Making eye contact will assure people that you are trustworthy enough to open up to and feel safe in your presence. The safer someone feels around you, the more they will share to you. This will allow you to have more material to communicate about with the people you talk to.
10.) Find Something Mutual
One of the best ways to communicate is to find something mutual about both of you. Whether you like the same sport, go to the same gym, went to the same schools. Finding a commonality can allow you to open up the potential for a longer conversation. It allows you to break down the barrier that people put up, especially when we meet someone new. If we can find some common ground, we can get into sync with the person and the conversation becomes more of a dance between you two. Going back and forth about the subject. Which after you have connected through commonalities, you have built enough rapport to talk about other things and not have the person be closed off.
11.) Ask Questions But Don’t Assume You Know The Answers
Often times we will ask questions or try to fill in gaps with our own answers. Answers we are thinking that the other person is going to say. But this is based off of our own experiences, perspectives and feelings. We are seeing it from our eyes instead of trying to see it more from their eyes. When you ask questions to people, don’t assume the answer at all. That way when they answer, you will act in a more authentic way and appear as if you are truly listening to the other person. You will also be able to really understand someone, or show that at least you are seeking to do so. As when we fill in the blanks with our own answers, we often cut the person off from truly expressing how they feel in that moment.
When one is expressing themselves authentically to us, we are able to influence others more, creating better communication with people.
We can also communicate more effectively by switching things up by disagreeing when we need to. There is nothing worse than talking to someone who is a push over or just agrees with everything we say. There is no thought provoking at all and the conversation dries up quickly. But if you disagree and explain your perspective when you disagree, you open yourself up to having a deeper and more provacitive conversation with the individual or group. It also makes you appear more appealing and captivating. People will be more entertained through conversing with you and allow you to be able to communicate better and longer with them.
13.) Ask Open Ended Questions
This may be the best and most effective tip on our list today. Asking questions that lead to someone saying yes and no will get you nowhere in conversations. It cuts off communication quickly and you are left there forced to try to find a new question to ask over and over. It is like a bad first date! But when you formulate questions that have to do with the person expanding on what they have to say, you open up the opportunity to communicate very effectively.
An example of closed questions versus open ended questions include:
Closed Question: Was your day good?
Open Ended Version: What was the best part about your day?
A great article about open and closed questions talks about how we can simply create better communication and conversation by adding terms like: isn’t it, can’t they, and don’t you? Like for example using them through asking questions like:
“It’s great weather, isn’t it?”
It talks about how the questions that are asked are meant to make the respondent both think and reflect. Along with have them give you their feelings and opinions. Essentially they are handing over control of the conversation to who you are talking to and letting them run with it. You literally have entire conversations this way that allow the person to talk most of the time. People will begin to see you as an excellent communicator and almost as a coach.
14.) Be Curious
When we are curious we put our pride aside. We don’t say anything out of “knowing”. We are simply like children, acting as if the world is all new to us and learning about everything. We can take the same mindset with communication. When we come into conversations with people with curiousity we show more interest into what they are saying. This allows them to open up to us more as they feel as if we are intrigued about what they have to say.
When we come from a pride-less place by using a curious spirit when communicating, we also grow from the conversations we have. We gain new perspective from peoples answers that we wouldn’t get if we thought we “new it all” already. See every conversation as a fresh and new experience where both you will grow from because of how open minded you are.
When we are open minded in conversations, we make people feel as if they are able to say whatever is on their mind as they know they won’t be judged. The tension of the conversation is more relaxed and able to flow better overall.
Realize that there is really no truth, only what we believe to be true and what the other person believes to be true. By bringing this mindset into conversations, you will be able to talk without as much bias and be completely willing to hear the speakers side and where they are coming from.
15.) Story Telling
Through the use of story telling, we can become captivating to our audience. We all have loved stories. From the time we are born to the time we leave this earth, we always love to hear and watch stories. They keep our attention longer and allow us to transcend our world by living in another. Leaving the worries of our world behind for a bit.
When we become good story tellers, again people will listen to us longer. When people listen to us longer, we can communicate better and leave a lasting impression on people. Making our conversation unforgettable. And open up for more conversation in the future as these people will see us as captivating story tellers who are fun and interesting to talk to.
16.) Stop Using Filler Words
Aaron Marino, author of the best selling e-book “The Male Style Guide” talks about how we all use filler words whenever we are communicating to people. He talks about how in order to communicate in the most effective way, we need to learn what filler words we use and get rid of the, ASAP! The best way to figure out what filler words we use most is to simply ask the people closest to us what words those are.
This can also include mumbling through sentences along with improper enunciation. The best way to communicate is to pronounce things correctly along with speaking clearly so that you don’t have to go over what you are saying multiple times. As well as what you said will last along with resonate with the person you are speaking in a much more effective manner.
He talks about how this will make you feel and appear more confident, more professional along with more sure of yourself.
The best way to lick this habit is to have people close to you, in a sense, call you out by making fun of you or bringing it up in a goofy manner. It will allow you to become more self conscious about the fact that your are using particular words or terms.
After a while of getting called out, you will start to self correct yourself as you will be more aware of the words that are coming out of your mouth.
17.) Wait Until Emotion Wears Off
When it comes to proper communication, we can’t do so if our judgement is clouded by emotions we are feeling in the moment. Although these emotions can be totally valid to the situation we are experiencing or what someone has done to us, if they are communicated from, consequences can be horrible.
We have all been in that argument where we are fighting about something and the other person says something that sends us over the age. Naturally we react harshly out of anger, fear or hurt. We can even take it to the next level and up the ante, saying something worse in order to make them feel bad too.
This can make the other person feel bad as well as make us feel bad and ashamed. Often times when we react out of emotion, we can actually react in ways that aren’t conducive to what other people are even saying to us. We can misinterpret and then stick our foots in our mouth.
The best thing to do is to let yourself cool off a bit and revisit the conversation later. Go somewhere different to where you two are separated from each other. Take a shower or meditate. Do something to calm your mind of the emotions you are feeling.
Give yourself as long as you need to cool off. This can be a few minutes or even a few days. After which you will enter into that same conversation with less emotional charge. Along with feeling more detached from it as you have had time to look at it from an outside perspective. Which is something you and I can’t do when we are caught up in emotion.
Once you come back to the conversation, you can react in a way to where it will be proactive and won’t cause any more longer term side effects than need be.
You will also act with more compassion as you will be explaining yourself from a point of view that is coming from how you truly felt. Which when we are fired up, these negative emotions are not the real us.
When you come back to reviewing the argument with the other person, use words that share how you feel, not how they MADE you feel. Communicate to the person you needs and how they may have violated them. But communicate through the use of describing how you felt, not attacking the other person for how they made you feel.
If these responses happen often with this person, then it is best for you two to try to figure out where these emotions are coming from. We all see the world from a different lenses. Depressed people can see it from darker ones. Or these lenses can be darkened from a tough past. Certain scenarios can trigger reactions that were felt in different but similar scenarios from ones past. It may not be fitting to the current argument, but it was fitting then.
Working on identifying why this person is reacting harshly can help you two extract things out of your past and memory bank that are making you react a certain way. That way when things come up similar, you will know to react differently as you have examined the true cause of what made you act in that original way. This will make communicate between you two much easier and smooth, along with more emotionally healthy.
18.) What Is The Outcome
Another awesome way to communicate is to know the outcome you want out of communicating with someone. When you know your end goal of conversing with someone, you are able to guide the conversation in a more effective way towards your wanted outcome.
When we do this, we are able to lead our way though a conversation through mini goals to the major goal. We have a sense of getting to the destination through our words we are communicating. If we don’t know our outcome, we will do more drifting. This will help us get to the point along with be more direct with people, which is the healthiest form of communication.
19.) Know When To Walk Away
Often times the best thing to do when you feel as if the conversation is ending with someone is to simply walk away. Often times we want to prolong the conversation because we have more to say or want to appear a certain way to someone. But you and I need to listen to our gut instinct when we feel someone pulling away from us. This is done out of respect for the other person. They may be shy or simply had a bad day, or maybe just don’t want to talk. Respecting this fact is showing empathy towards the person. You may not know the reason why they don’t want to elaborate but you are showing them that you “get it”.
This will also allow the person to open up to you more in the future as they know you won’t be pushy with your conversation. They will feel more safe with you and allow themselves to elaborate to you what is on their mind. It is like a tootsie pop, sometimes you just need to chisel through the hard outside to get to the inside. You can do this by crushing it with your teeth, or you can enjoy the process by licking that baby until you get to the chocolate or gum! OK, maybe not the best analogy, but you get the picture! 😉
20.) Know Your Audience
Often times we will talk to people like we talk to our friends. We will let swear words slip, use filler words and simply treat it like we would if we were talking to a buddy. But everyone is different in their tolerance and the way they can communicate. Sometimes you can get away with a funny joke or even a cuss word. But the best thing to do is to read your audience.
If we react in ways that aren’t conducive to how this person views the world, then we can ruin conversations with people. I am not saying be a chameleon and adapt to every single person and not stay true to who you are. I am just saying that in order to communicate effectively we need to communicate in a way that is more neutral so that we don’t push anyone away and ruin our opportunity to converse with them now and in the future.
If you feel as if what you have to say may come off as offensive or vulgar, try to review it before you say it. Then create a different from of the same version that may be a little more tame and better accepted by the person you are talking to. This will create longevity to the conversation. Once you get to know the person more, you can of course let lose!
21.) Don’t Assume It Has Taken Place
Often times we will assume as if we have communicated everything with each other. We may be a little lazy in our approach to it. The best way to not do this is to both clarify with the other person that they are done communicating or if they still have anything to add. As well as reviewing what we want out of the conversation.
Now this can mean coming back and adding to the original conversation, hours or days later. As things come back up. Don’t just assume proper communication has taken place, especially if you feel that it truly hasn’t. Don’t suppress that feeling. Listen to it and evaluate what hasn’t been said and still needs to be said.
22.) Making A Point To Do So
I honestly think a big turning point in any relationship regardless of communication is simply by making a point to do so with the other person. Deciding that both of you deserve that and the relationship is worth it.
Once you both are more aware of the fact the lack of communication may be a big cause of your problems, then you can proceed by being more aware of actively communicating. Working through the awkwardness because you decided that the relationship is worth giving it 100 percent through the likes of good communication.
By having a talk about committing to each other to communicate better, the two parties will feel more wanted by the other. And know that they care enough to work on better communication.
We can’t change anything unless we examine what is not working and then actively go about changing this habit. Day in and day out. Send texts, email, call, talk face to face. Do something everyday that is going to help communicate better with the other.
As well as simply the showing the other person that you are truly trying. This can go even further than actually verbal communication most times in the eyes and heart of the other person.
You can also work on simply doing this with people whom you aren’t intimate with as well to help you communicate even more effectively when it counts. Make it a note that whenever you want to say something to someone but want to refrain from doing so, say it anyways, right away.
This will allow you to break through fears of communication and help you build the courage to say things on your mind to anyone and everyone. Making you into an excellent communicator with practice. As with anything, the most we communicate when we don’t want to, the better we become at it.
23.) Stay In The Now
The best way to truly get the most out of communication is to focus on the here and now. This is done by really being moment to moment with the conversation. That way you can truly follow what the other person is saying and respond with the best answer possible. When we are in tune with the person, we are giving ourselves over to the person unconditionally. We are coming from a selfless place and people will want to share more with us when we do so. It takes practice, but the more you block out other thoughts about the past and future along with the desire to interject, you will find yourself being present easier in all types of conversations.
24.) Leave The Past In The Past
Often times we will be talking and we bring up past situations that are simply not beneficial to the current conversation. Bringing up something from the past can push the conversation off of its track and leave you two way far off track from where the conversation started. The best thing to do is to not take any cheap shots or try to get even during conversations. By doing this, it will not spiral out of control or escalate with negative feels on one or both sides.
When we focus on what is in front of us, we can move forward swiftly and more proactively with communication. We simply deal with facts, not emotions. Unless they are beneficial to the current conversation. If and only if it is something that is going to uplift the other person or help the conversation go in a good way, then bring it up. If not, leave it in the past.
25.) Admit When You Are Wrong
We have all been in that argument where we simply refuse to give up, even though we know we are in the wrong. We don’t want to take it on the chin or egos bruised. We continue on and on until disaster ensues!
Lifehacker.com offers up some great advice on how if we go into each debate or heated conversation with the idea that you will admit your wrong at least once. You won’t be caught off guard if and when you are wrong. You will go having made peace that you will say this at least once.
The article talks about how it is simply about giving credit where credit is due. We are only human, we can’t be right about everything or win every argument. The key is to have a winning attitude which will make you into a better communicator along with preserve relationships that may have been obliterated by our needs to be right.
They ended the article with a cool point that talks about how the best debaters are good at taking a loss and still come out of the loss looking as if and being on top.
The fact of the matter is is that when we admit we are wrong, it is almost as if we are stripping the other person of their armor. Heated conversations can literally dissolve themselves right away or shortly thereafter. As well as let the other person know that you are humble enough to see it from their side through the form of putting your pride aside.
When we know we are wrong, admitting it would cause us to lose the ability to save face. But considering the fact that almost all of the population will never humble themselves to do this, you and I can look incredibly courageous along with set ourselves apart by doing so.
Then people will come into arguments with us knowing that they won’t have to fight until they are blue in the face. They will know that you will take a loss if need be and in turn give them the opportunity and freedom to do the same.
Psychology Today talks about how we don’t want to seem incompetent or dishonest. Which these feels manifest themselves when we admit we are wrong. But in the end, it shows respect to the people whom of which were affected by our personal actions. It refrains from you and I being narcissistic or simply trying to maintain our self image. Admitting our faults and when we are wrong shows the other person that you put more value in them then in how much you value the making yourself seem infallible.
26.) Use Some Humor
Communication doesn’t have to be completely dry or cut off from pleasant feelings. Using humor in communication can both diffuse negative feelings as well keep communication going much longer. People love to laugh, it allows them to feel at ease with you along with see you as much more captivating. They are willing to listen to you much more so as it gives them an escape from the seriousness that life often demands.
Creation.com talks about how in the old days, when the king ruled and have absolute power, only the jest was able to safely tell the truth to the king, which was done through the form of humorous words or acts. Anyone else was in danger of losing their head!
The article talks about how it can help create new ideas in peoples heart along with break down barriers. As well as being a essential component of learning.
When our walls our broken down, we are more apt to take a more open and willing attitude. We can have this affect on people we are talking to by using humor. We can prime other people to communicate with us more so than we could by being bland in the way we communicate. This will open up the floodgates for communication today and everyday thereafter with that person.
An article talks about 7 tips on using humor in conversation, a couple tips from the article include:
- Laugh at ourselves, as it has been shown to be the most attractive kind of humor
- Use humor as a tool that will allow you to laugh together, not be sarcastic or ridiculing.
- Use it to reduce tension.
- Watch something comedic each day to stay relevant on your humor along with grab new content from people that you can use in communication.
27.) Don’t Rush Communication
Often times we want to say what we want to say as fast as we can say it. Because it makes it look and feel good and smart. But the fact of the matter is that some people may not be able to keep up. Or you may not be able to emphasize your points, feelings or thoughts when you and I rush through talking with someone. Slowing down your speech will allow you to portray what you are trying to get through to the other person.
As well as help you articulate better. It helps you actually sound even more polished and sincere when you slow down what you are trying to say. It can also help you avoid saying something you will regret as you will be more mindful of the words that are going to be coming out of your mouth.
Lastly, it shows the person that your respect them enough in order to slow down what you are saying. Instead of appearing as if you just want to get the communication over and done with. This will respect will be returned to you in the form of respect to you. People will communicate more naturally with you along with share more with you during conversation.
28.) Ask For Clarification
Brian Tracy, author and motivational speaker, talks about how we should seek clarification during conversation. Instead of dismissing things that we aren’t clear on, we should ask a question like “What did you mean by that?”. Tracy says then after you ask that question, simply pause and wait for them to elaborate. He says this is the most powerful question he has learned that has helped in become a better communicator, in both guiding as well as controlling the conversation. The person will expand their response from this and you can create a better and more efficient conversation.
He also talks about how we should paraphrase what people said in our own words. This can be done by first saying something like “Let me see if I got this right”, which then you proceed to paraphrase the speakers words.
Doing this will show that you are giving it your best effort to pay attention. Along with trying to understand their point of view or feelings that they have.
29.) Skip The Small Talk
When we start to communicate, it can be a little awkward at first so we use small talk. The best communicators know that time is valuable. Theirs and the speakers. They move to the point quickly. This shows confidence in oneself as they are more direct people. Along with allows other people to open up and get to the point quicker too. Allowing both of you to enjoy quality and meaningful conversation right off the bat.
93 Quotes On Communication
- “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” – George Bernard Shaw
- “Communication – the human connection – is the key to person and career success.” – Paul J. Meyer
- “The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.” – Peter Drucker
- “The art of communication is the language of leadership.” – James Humes
- “Wise men speak because they have something to say. Fools because they have to say something.” – Plato
- “Good communication is the bridge between confusion and clarity.” – Nat Turner
- “A good relationship starts with good communication.”
- “Sometimes words are not needed, and the simplicity of expressing yourself through an art form is one of the best ways of communication.” – Emmanuel Jal
- “Communication must be HOT. That’s honest, open, and two-way.” – Dan Oswald
- “Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy and mutual valuing.” – Rollo May
- “Communication works for those who work at it.” – John Powell
- “Communication to a relationship is like oxygen to life. Without it. It dies.” – Tony Gaskins
- “Communication is a skill that you can learn. It’s like riding a bicycle or typing. If you’re willing to work at it, you can rapidly improve the quality of every part of your life.” – Brian Tracy
- “The biggest problem with communication is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply.”
- “Great communication begins with connection.” – Oprah Winfrey
- “Don’t assume your partner knows everything you expect in a relationship. Let him know. A relationship should be based on communication, not on assumption.”
- “Skill in the art of communication is crucial to a leaders success. He can accomplish nothing unless he can communicate effectively.” – Norman Allen
- “My God! The English language is a form of communication! Conversation isn’t just crossfire where you shoot and get shot at. Where you’ve got to duck for your life and aim to kill. Words aren’t only bombs and bullets, no, they’re little gifts, containing meaning.” – Philip Roth
- “Communication – the human connection – is the key to personal and career success.” – Paul J. Meyer
- “Intelligence, knowledge or experience are important and might get you a job, but strong communication skills are what will get you promoted.” – Mireille Guiliano
- “Good communication is just as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.” – Anne Morrow Lindbergh
- “Worlds are like keys: if you choose them right, they can open any heart and shut any mouth.”
- “Without trust, communication and honesty in any relationship – There is nothing to build upon.”
- “Communication is the sister of leadership.” – John Adair
- “Communication is the life line of any relationship. Without it, the relationship will start to death.” – Elizabeth Bourgeret
- “A good relationship starts with good communication.”
- “Communication means sharing together, thinking together, not agreeing or disagreeing together but thinking, observing, learning, understanding together. But you and the speaker have to take the journey together.” – J. Krishmamarti
- “Communication is key. Two people can be in the same relationship and see it in two different ways.”
- “Without communication there is no relationship. Without respect there is no love. Without trust, there’s no reason to continue.”
- “Consistency and communication is really everything.”
- “Speak when your angry and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.” – Laurence Peters
- “60% of all human communication is non-verbal body language, 30% is your tone, so that means that 90% of what your saying ain’t coming out of your mouth.”
- “People fail to get along because they fear each other because they don’t know each other. They don’t know each other because they have not communicated with each other.”
- “Lack of understanding can destroy any relationship.” – Manik Manchanda
- “I respect a person who is vocal. Tell me why your into me. Tell me why I pissed you off and tell me how I can fix it. Tell me everything. Talk.”
- “Think like a wise man, but communicate in the language of the people.”- William Butler Yeats
- “Communication is about trying to recreate in the mind of what the receiver what is in our mind.”
- “Emotional awareness is necessary so you can properly convey your thoughts and feelings to the other person.” – Jason Goldberg
- “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand. They listen with the intent to reply.”
- “Communication is what makes a team strong.”
- “Relationships cannot grow without the proper amount of communication.”
- “We are stronger when we listen and smarter when we share.” – Rania Al Abdullah
- “It’t is not distance that keeps peoples apart. But lack of communication.”
- “People may hear your words, but they feel your attitude.” – John C Maxwell
- “The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives.” – Anthony Robbins
- “A mans character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.” – Mark Twain
- “A great relationship has great communication. That means knowing how to effectively express yourself and how to listen properly.”
- “To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.” – Anthony Robbins
- “Love is combination of respect, friendship, understanding, communication and companionship.”
- “Never be afraid to say what you feel.”
- “Communicate more. Conversation can solve most problems.”
- “Don’t make assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.” – Miguel Angel Ruiz
- “Man’s inability to communicate is a result of his failure to listen effectively.” – Carl Rogers
- “Communicate. Even when it’s uncomfortable or uneasy. One of the best ways to hearl is simply getting everything out.”
- “50% of a great relationship is how you treat someone. The other 50% is having the ability and confidence to communicate the treatment you want in return.” – Matthew Hussey
- “The more we elaborate our means of communication, the less we communicate.” – J.B. Priestley
- “Storytelling, by the very act of telling, communicate a radical learning that changes lives and the world. Telling stories is a universally accessible means through which people make meaning.” – Chris Cavanaugh
- “To write or speak is to communicate. To communicate is to share meanings, make them “common” to all participants in the discourse. (The etymological root of communication means ‘common’)” – Robin Lakoff
- “What we sometimes wee as a failure to behave properly is actually a failure to communicate properly.”
- “The best way to solve problems and to fight against war is through dialogue.” – Malala Yousafzai
- “The illusion that everything will just turn out magically without having to communicate: thoughts, feelings and needs in a relationship is an immaturity that will make true connection impossible.”
- “You must be aware that you constantly send nonverbal messages and that it is impossible for you to not communicate.” – Robert W. Lucas
- “Communication is hard you see, but in the end, it is key, to that great relationship we all want and need.”
- “We will not agree with everyone, but we should most definitely respect one another. Respect is essential in all forms of communication.” – Brooke Griffin
- “The next step is to learn to communicate with the people you feel are causing your pain and misery, not to learn how to prove them wrong and yourself right, but how to communicate from the heart.” – Pema Chodron
- “Communication improvement requires character improvement.”
- “When we change the way we communicate, we change society.” – Clay Shirky
- “Your ability to communicate is an important tool in your pursuit of your goals. Whether it is with your family, your co-workers or your clients and customers.” – Les Brown
- “It’s about communication. It’s about honesty. It’s about treating people in the organization as deserving to know the facts. You don’t try to give them half the story. You don’t try to hide the story. You treat them as – as true equals, and you communicate and you communicate and you communicate.” – Louis V. Gerstner, Jr.
- “If you just communicate you can get by. But if you communicate skillfully you can work miracles.” – Jim Rohn
- “Communicate, communicate and then communicate some more.” – Bob Nelson
- “The two words ‘information’ and ‘communicate’ are often used interchangeably, but they signify quite different things. Information is giving out, communication is getting through.” – Sydney J. Harris
- “If there is any piece of advice to carry with you throughout your entire marriage, that would be to communicate as much as possible. Send text messages, emails, and call each other on the phone as much as possible.”
- “Many relationship problems are rooted in the communication break-down. These can be as simple as not really hearing what the other person is saying, because we get caught up in our own fixed perspectives.” – Sumesh Nair
- “Communication is not only the essence of being human, but also a vital property of life.” – John A. Piece
- “Everyone can talk, few can communicate.”
- “Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much.” – Robert Greenleaf
- “Communication is the first thing we learn in life. Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking, the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what we really need.” – Meredith Grey
- “Communicate unto the other person that which you would want him to communicate unto you if your positions were reversed.” – Aaron Goldman
- “Stop fighting and learn how to communicate honestly with each other.” – Richard Patrick
- “When trying to communicate with each other, a husband and wife should be careful to make sure their voices and faces agree with their words.” – Dr. Myles Monroe
- “A man’s character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.” – Mark Twain
- “Arguing isn’t communication, it’s noise.” – Tony Gaskins
- “Words are like keys, if you choose the right, they can open any heart and shut any mouth.”
- “Take advantage of every opportunity to practice your communication skills so that when important occasion arise, you will have the gift, the style, the sharpness, the clarity and the emotions to affect other people.” – Jim Rohn
- “Effective communication is the best way to solve problems.” – Bradford Winters
- “It’s a sign of your wisdom and growth when you choose to respond calmly to the negative behavior of others.”
- “Effective communication is 20% what you know and 80% how you feel about what you know.” – Jim Rohn
- “It takes two to speak the truth – one to speak and another to hear.” – Henry David Thoreau
- “What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
- “When you have a problem in your relationship that you’ve chosen not to share with your partner, you contribute more towards the problem then you realize.”
- “Words can heal or hurt, lift a person up or put a load on them to heavy to carry.”
- “The difference between management and leadership is communication.” – Winston Churchill