How To Get What You Want
At the end of the day, we all want to get what we desire. It sparks something in us that leaves a void in us until we get it. And if we get it, we feel a sense of satisfaction and completion again. If we don’t the void or whole seems to get bigger and starts to even consume us.
Not getting what we want can be a big source of discontentment and discouragement. It can lead to us feeling resentful and even regretful. All of these emotions do not allow us to live this life in a way that creates a fulfilling human existence.
That is why we NEED to get EVERYTHING we want in life.
Is this possible? Well I think the we can up the probability of getting most if not everything we desire by adhering a to a few simple rules.
What are these rules? I am glad you asked.
Below I talk about exactly what they are.
7 Ways To Get Everything You Ever Wanted
Pain & Pleasure
Our life and the choices we make, or don’t make, are all intertwined very tightly between these two human emotions. We do essentially all we can to avoid pain or make it end as quick as possible. And everything we can to find pleasure and maintain this sense of pleasure.
But more often than not, when we try to avoid pain, we get out of our current feelings of pain or potentially pain. But we have to endure that things that are going to bring more long term pain.
For example, lets take relationships. At a time in your life maybe you were in a beautiful and loving relationship. You two were perfectly united. Stuck at the hip. Inseparable lovers who never wanted to be apart. A deep sense of completion was felt within you because of this person and all physical and emotional value they brought into your life.
But then something happened. Whether it was one big event or a series of them. They led to the ultimate demise of the relationship. Your heart was broken. It hurt bad, very bad. You may have thought you may never recover.
After this happened, you saw relationships in an entirely new light. You saw them as a place of pain. And that if you ever opened up your heart to someone again, you open up the opportunity to feeling your heart being torn into a million pieces. (Can you tell I have had this experience!)) 😉
So maybe we don’t take the chances we would take with people we are attracted to. We fear that if we go all in, and throw caution to the wind, we will live our nightmare all over again.
We do so to avoid pain. Or in other words, we see more pleasure in NOT giving our whole self into relationships again.
But the long term effects of not going in fully committed to relationships is:
- You may never find the one that is meant for you.
- Never be truly in love again. (A wonderful feeling)
- Never have kids.
- Never feel fulfillment that comes from a great relationship.
- Be a resentful bachelor or bachelorette for your entire life.
- Die alone.
So yea, you may avoid pain, and feel safe and secure for the time being. By not going up to that certain person. Or trying out a relationship and doing so by going in with an open heart and mind.
But you will have to suffer a life sentence of pain because of it.
It is a delusional way of thinking though. Because at the end of the day, the pain that MAY come from relationships often, almost always is outweighed by the positive aspects of it.
And that is what I am getting at in regards to this whole rant.
If we can simply convince ourselves that there is MORE pleasure to be had than pain, then we can move forward towards something that we really really want.
So in order to get what we want in this life, we simply need to see all the PLEASURABLE things that can come out of the things we want. But fear having. Or fear the process that it takes to go through on the path of pursuing this desire.
Whether that is starting your own business. Seeking a new mate. Making a move. ANYTHING. No matter what it is, sell yourself on all of the positive and pleasurable things that will come out of it. Do so until you create overwhelming odds supporting the pleasure side of the equation.
Until it literally dwarfs the pain or “cons” side of the equation. A true blowout.
Then once you do that, you will being in much more of a courageous place to move forward. Because before that, you will simply be stuck in a place of fear. And there usually isn’t a lot of action in this emotional state. We have all heard the saying “scared stiff”. You freeze up in fear. Or run away in a cowardly manner.
Both of which serve no purpose when it comes to you winning in life. Winning everything you desire in life.
So when we move out of fear and into courage, there is a lot more productive energy to be seen. And although there still may be feelings of fear, you can transcend these feels with courage. As courage is simply acting even when you are scared.
And the more you do so, the more courageous and bulletproof you become.
Why do run from pain so much? Well it is really simple. We link pain to death. Because of our crocodile brain, we see things as being potentially threatening to our existence. This un-evolved center of our brains is the place where all of our stimulus is processed through FIRST.
It is the fight or flight area of our brain.
In order to get to higher evolved areas of our brain, we need to transcend this area of our brain. We need to hand over this fear to a more rational part of our brain. Again, a more evolved area that is able to compute the information better and really see if death is going to come from the choice we are going to make.
And we do this by creating a list pros and cons. Either mentally or literally putting it down on paper.
And you can do this, again with anything in life that you want so badly but can’t seem to move forward with towards it’s pursuit.
Flip Fear Around & Use It
We have all been completely used and abused by fear. Am I right? I mean fear has caused us to retreat so many times. And has blown our chances at getting the things we truly want in our life.
So for a second, I really want to create a feeling in you of anger. Anger about how fear has kept so much from you in this life. Become angry about it. Be anger and disgust is a powerful place to make a big change from.
So once you have felt a bit of this anger, now I want to give you a quick tip. We all are going to experience fear at some point in our lives. It is a part of our everyday existence as a matter of fact.
So we need to accept this. But it doesn’t mean we can use it to get what we want.
So this tip is similar to the tip above about using pain and pleasure. But in a different sense.
I want you to be fearful of what will NOT happen if you don’t do something.
So say you are someone who wants to leave their job to become self employed. Let’s say you get your realtors license and are want to become a full time realtor. You know you will have to do cold calls, door knocking and open houses to get your business off the ground.
All these things require you to put yourself out there and become exposed. And when we are exposed we feel a sense of fear. Just the thought of it can cause you to retreat.
But instead of letting fear make you STOP. You can instead use it to make you GO. Go forward harder than ever.
How do you do this?
Well you become fearful of what will happen if you DON’T take action.
So lets go back to our original scenario about becoming a full time realtor. Of course you are scared of cold calling, door knocking and open houses. Any human being would be.
But what is even more scary is that if you don’t do this, you will have to live a life with some of the following repercussions:
- Having to go to a job that you hate for the rest of your life.
- Having less time freedom to spend time with the people that you love.
- Not having enough money to feel financially independent.
- Not saving enough for retirement.
- Not feeling a sense of power and purpose that can come from doing the thing that you feel you are destined to do.
These are just a couple examples. Of one area of life that you could use fear to move you forward. Because fear doesn have such a power to it. It is such a forceful emotion. But we can either be adversely affected by fear in which we let that forceful emotion force us back. Or we can spin it and use it to our advantage.
Like a spider and its web, keep spinning it until your fear is trapped in that web. And consume it with your more courageous state until that fear is digested.
My favorite author and motivational speaker, Zig Ziglar, has such a powerful quote regarding this.
“You can have everything you want in life, if you just help enough people get what they want.”
Building great relationships come from thinking about what you can do for the other person. Seeking to understand who they are. And trying to help them from that point forward.
This can be as little as complimenting their style as they told you that they put a lot into dressing differently than everyone else.
Or it can be even in a bigger way where you try to interlink them with someone that can help them reach their goals and dreams.
And everything else in between.
And for some strange reason, the universe always makes sure that giving people always have enough. Usually much, much more than enough.
And it also creates an inner satisfaction that comes from helping your fellow man. As we are all interlinked in a strange way. Small parts of a bigger whole. And I believe we all know this or can feel this. Some more than others.
But the more you do things like this, the more you feel it. Because when you do something nice for someone, you feel great. This proves the point that we are all connected. Because if we weren’t it wouldn’t make us feel good. But it does. It is a two way street, which each street leads to happiness and fulfillment.
Once you start seeking to build good relationships, it becomes life where everyone is getting what they want. Including you and me.
And once this starts to happen, we feel a sense of fulfillment that comes from having people in your life that are fulfilled by your presence and interactions. And you fulfilled by theirs.
One of my favorite tips to build better relationships was given to me by Stephen Covey through his book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
He talked about how most people listen to people to reply. Instead of listening to understand. How people are either speaking or preparing to speak. And engaging in conversation like this can never really do anything for building better relationships.
Making aht little shift in our interactions can really cause someone to feel safe around us. Instead of waiting for our turn to talk, we simply seek to understand first. Then formulate our response from the response that was given to use.
This will help people open up more. Build more inter-relational trust. And create more a more fulfilling relationship.
It takes the spotlight off us. Which for some reason, it makes us more fulfilled asking more questions and talking about ourselves less. And the other person feels heard and safe to share things that we can lose later to benefit them.
Resource: How To Build Relationships
Set Big Goals
If you don’t know where you are going, how are you going to get there? Or any path will get you there in a sense. Setting big goals for yourself is really the first step towards getting what you want out of this life.
Now there is always the dilemma of setting goals because there is the possibility that you won’t accomplish those goals. But human beings are goal striving and seeking organisms. We feel more alive and growing when we are reaching and striving.
So yes there is a potentiality that you won’t reach your goal, but you definitely won’t if you don’t set goals.
But the fact of the matter is that most people don’t even set goals. Because their self image isn’t good enough to even believe that they deserve the good things that life has to offer.
That is where you come into play. We all have this feeling of inferiority to people in the world. If only we were born with his singing voice. Or her ability to communicate. Or even their astrological profile.
But the fact of the matter is that if we aren’t using our gifts right now that we have, we would never do anything with the gifts that others have.
That is why we need to see ourselves as already gifted. We are all geniuses. That I truly believe. That there is true greatness within every single one of us. Just waiting to be tapped. Like a mine filled with gold. All we have to do is do the work to expose these beautiful and valuable artifacts.
So the main way to do that is continue to develop yourself. The more you read blogs like this one, read positive books and listen to positive audio, the more you will create a better self image of yourself.
And the more you do that, the big action you will take. The bigger goals you will set. Because you are seeing yourself as being bigger than you used to be. More valuable. More happy. More powerful. And more deserving of reaching big goals for yourself. And ultimately living a better and more fulfilling life.
The fastest way though to altering your self image is to visualize how you want to be. Which brings us to our next step in getting all that you want in this life.
Resource: How To Set And Accomplish ANY Goal
Like I said, visualization can help us see ourselves as we want to be, right now. The mind truly doesn’t know the difference between a real thought. And one that is fabricated through the process of visualization.
For whatever reason, we can literally make our minds believe that we are something already.
Through visualization, we can create a better self image of ourselves in the here and now.
The key is to continue to see yourself doing and having the things you want in this life. Over and over and over again. Until your mind and body literally start doing things that move you towards the thought images.
You will activate your Reticular Activating System (RAS) in your brain. Which is meant to seek and find things that help you bring these thoughts images into existence.
We are truly the creators of our lives. Thoughts are the things we create our world with. Our outer world is simply a reflection of our inner world.
The more we change our inner world, the more we change the outer world.
That is why Wayne Dyer used to say
“Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change.”
When we change the way we look at our thought images, the things we look at change. And in turn, the way the world look at us starts to change as well. And again, a big part of how we see ourselves is related to how the world sees us. If the world sees you as lazy and unmotivated, you convince yourself that it is true.
But that is why visualization is so powerful. You can override the thoughts you have about yourself. And thoughts you have created about someones opinion about you that isn’t really supportive.
From there on out, you start to succeed and act in a way that is totally different from who you used to be.
That is why it is said that nothing succeeds like success. You become more successful, more motivated, more happy. And these things just keep growing. This visualization creates massive momentum. That is if done regularly, can’t be stopped.
Which leads us to our next and final tip on how to get anything you want in this life.
Perseverance is the tip that really ties it all together. But the beautiful fact of the matter is that if you have been practicing the tips above with consistency, then perseverance is a byproduct of you doing so.
Perseverance is something that all the great ones have had. Like Les Brown says:
“When the going gets tough, the hopeful keep going.”
Perseverance comes from the belief that you won’t stop until you win. You will either do it, or die. And when a person makes that decision, they harness one of the ultimate powers of the universe. You are deciding to do something. Which means anything to the contrary is just not an option. You cut off all other options.
And for some reason, when you do so, the universe rewards this behavior. You prove that you are in it for the long haul, and unseen forces aid you in the arrival at your goal.
But the thing about persistence is knowing that there will be trails and pain in the process. There will be setbacks and often times it won’t happen in the way think it will.
But you have to keep going. No matter what. Keep push and shoving and breaking through obstacles. And once you break through obstacles, you have what is known as a breakthrough.
You enter into an entirely different state of mind. Like it is said that a mind stretched to new dimensions can never go back to it’s original form. You now operate in this expanded version of yourself, FOR GOOD.
You no longer ever go back to your old self. You die to yourself and reemerge more powerful than ever. Someone who can take the hits of life and keep going. And not only keep going, but do and become better because of them.
That is the power of persistence.
Doing things until you feel like doing them. Not waiting to feel like you are ready to do them.
Resolve today that you will just get into action about the things you want in life. As soon as you identify something you want, take action that day. And take a little action every single day.
This is where you will gain momentum. And this is where you will prove to yourself that you aren’t going to relent. That you are putting in the work that shows that you deserve the thing you desire. Proving to yourself, and proving to the universe.
Because the universe rewards people who are deserving of the things they want. It doesn’t want to waste it on someone who isn’t ready or who hasn’t put in the work.
Adopt the philosophy:
“When the world says NO, you say NEXT.”
Every no you are encountered with is just getting you that much closer to your YES. And it is usually right past where you think you are ready to give up. Or just can’t go any longer. Keep going just a little bit more. And I promise you, you will find what you are looking for.
“Seek and Ye Shall Find.”
But the key word here is to SEEK. Keep seeking, and the promise is that we shall find. Not that we might find. We WILL find.
Conclusion To How To Get What You Want
So there we are my friends. A guide to getting things you want in life. No matter what it is. A guide to getting your desires. And becoming better, more resilient and more powerful than ever in the process. Remember again, to embrace these tips and act upon them daily:
- The Link Between Pain & Pleasure
- Using Fear FOR Your Benefit
- Build Relationships
- Set Big Goals
- Visualize The Things You Want
- Persevere Like Your Life Depends On It (Because it does)
Those 6 steps, I believe, can brings us all that we want in this life. To bring you the things you desire and bring you to the conclusion of this life feeling a sense of deep satisfaction for this opportunity we were given to walk the earth.
And best yet, not have one single regret about your life. Because you know that you did what it took to make your dreams become a reality. You became the superhero of your own movie. The main star who overcame the odds, and lived a winners life.
I believe in you.
Until next time friend.