How To Stop Being Jealous
Jealousy is such a powerful emotion that it can ruin good things in our life. They can make the strong aspects of our life delicate. And the delicate things in our life break that much easier.
But just like any negative habit, we can break it. And ultimately replace it with good and positive habits that support our growth and happiness on this earth.
We have all had the experience of having jealousy take over our state completely. Which is why I wrote this article to us all. To learn how to take back our position of authority over these feelings. And introduce a new state of awareness. Skills that we can use to become less jealousy and even how to stop being jealous completely.
So what are these skills?
Well I am glad you asked!
Below are 11 of the best skills I know to stop being jealous and in turn, live life way more happy and fulfilled.
11 Tips To End Jealousy For Good
Interrupt The Pattern On The Spot
First off, when you are feeling jealous, you are feeling inferior in some way. So the very first thing we need to do when we are feeling jealousy is to recognize our value. We need to interrupt this negative pattern by introducing things that counteract this emotion.
So I want to encourage us to see our own value as soon as feelings of jealousy build up. Before they get out of hand. Because this is an emotion powerful enough to make us have some deep regrets if we act out from these feelings.
Rack up a few quick things you are proud of yourself about. Wins you have had in the past. Accomplishments. Accolades. Trophies. Things that will show you that you have value. This will make these feelings of jealously smaller and smaller as you will feel more significant. And that is what jealousy really is, feeling insignificant.
The faster you can do this, the faster you can stop jealousy in it’s tracks. By stepping out of your feelings, and replacing them with positive ones, you are looking at them from an entirely different perspective.
You are now looking at them in a more detached way. Which is worth it’s weight in gold because you can let them go. You can now see them as not being YOU, but simply being separate from you. You are living with them. Then aren’t you. Which means you can let them go.
Some say a good way to do this is to snap yourself with a rubber band. This can be beneficial if you need it at first. But the thing is you are still interrupting the pattern with a negative habit and this can lead to more self abuse. If this helps you, only use it temporarily. Then manage it through more positive forms. Like working out, physical activity or meditation.
Link Pain To Staying The Same
The fact of the matter is that you are reading this article because you want to change. You are putting yourself above the masses, so good on you my friend.
But the thing is that in order to make lasting changes, we need to link enough pain to staying the same. And enough pleasure to changing.
So evaluate the pain of staying a jealous person. What are the things you are or potentially going to lose if you stay the way you are? Maybe you will ruin romantic relationships. Or you will get in verbal and physical altercations that will ruin your reputation. Which can keep you from getting certain job opportunities. And living out your destiny.
Keep going deeper and deeper with the process. Bot with pain and with pleasure. Until you get to a point where you see more pleasure linked to NOT being a jealous person.
Keep Growing Yourself
When we engage in a pursuit of continually growth, something beautiful happens. We start seeing ourselves as very valuable. Our levels of wisdom grow and grow to where feelings of jealous truly do dissipate. We may feel them still, I mean we are only human, but the fact of the matter is that they won’t effect us nearly as much.
When you are in a pursuit of continually growth, you also look at circumstances differently. From a higher level of consciousness. This is because you are bringing a new you into situations and circumstances. A more expanded version of yourself that is more capable of handling lower levels of emotions. An expanded mind sees things much more clearly. And can decipher what is really going on in the moment. Hence you can move on from it much faster than being stuck in it.
When we grow ourselves, we stop being so dependent on others. Instead of always looking for approval or validation from others. We feel more and more, that we are enough. We become comfortable in our own skin. We no longer seek for others to build us up because we are building ourselves up.
When we do so, we end up telling people how great they are. We become more encouraging. When we do this, our relationships deepen and we feel even better about ourselves. We start to see jealousy as being actually very goofy and impractical to our existence.
Do Things That Manage Negative Emotions
Like I said before, we need to get to point where we can look objectively at our thoughts and feelings. Detach ourselves from them. Essentially watch them go by. Being the watcher or our thoughts and feelings.
This can be done through things like meditation and yoga. I have engaged in meditation on almost a daily basis for 3 years now. And I can honestly say that it has helped me detach from my thoughts and feelings when I want to. Help me recognize that I am something much bigger and more powerful then lower level emotions. Give it a try 🙂
BONUS TIP: Label your emotions as what they are. Instead of saying I AM JEALOUS, say things like “I am FEELING jealous.” This can help us recognize that this pattern is not us, just a pattern of feelings. That we can pattern interrupt by using the first tip I talked about. The more we interrupt a negative pattern with a positive one, the easier this new pattern will be incorporated into our lives.
Tony Robbins has a great quote about this:
“Trade your expectation for appreciation and the world changes instantly.”
It is true. You can’t be in a lower state of emotion like jealousy, when you are giving appreciation. Which is a much higher vibrating emotion. It is like dark can’t exist where there is light. You can snuffing out the flames of jealous with the power of appreciation and gratitude.
Find something that you are grateful for and dwell upon it deeply. Feel it so intensely that you forget about jealousy completely.
Count your blessings. The positive things in your life. Not the blessings of others. You want to stack the deck in your favor. And you can’t do so when you are stacking someone else’s deck in their favor.
Or if you are in a relationship simply find things you can be grateful for about the other person. Keep doing so until feelings of jealousy are eliminated. See them in a positive light. As light will illuminate the truth. And the truth is that our jealousy was clouding the real truth. That our feelings of jealousy are actually very insignificant compared to the positive aspects of our relationship or our life.
Compete Don’t Compare
Again, when we compare we feel inadequate. Or if we see ourselves as better in some way, we act and feel superior. The fact of the matter is that we are all inferior and superior to everyone is some way, shape and form. I know Bill Gates ability to create software and lead a team of engineers is superior to me.
But I know I am superior to him to where I lift heavier, have done more bodybuilding competitions and have more sports accolades then him.
We can learn from everyone and teach everyone. Giving us all a pretty even playing field in that regard. But when you do go to compare, which is natural, see it more of a competition with the other person. This puts you in a better state of being inferior. It can transcend your lower levels of thinking to higher levels instantly. And keep you there.
Maybe you are jealous of a person because of the what type of scholarly accolades they have. Well, then you see this as something you need to start working on. Going back to school. Reading more books. Taking courses. Which when you do so, you won’t feel inferior any more about this aspect of your life.
Hence cutting off something you are jealous about forever. The more we do this, the more we are trimming the fat. We eliminate big insecurities about ourselves this way. And the more secure we are in ourselves, the less jealousy we feel.
Use jealousy to drive you up and forward. Not down and backward.
Don’t Seek It From Anyone In Your Life
I used to mistake jealousy for CARING. That if I was jealous or I could make someone jealous, that it would prove that they care. But the fact of the matter is that is true love doesn’t need to become jealous or feel jealousy about anything in a relationship. If there is any of this, it is probably not grounded in true love.
So when you are seeking to cause jealousy or looking for it to validate your level of love, stop doing so. What we focus on expands. Where our focus goes, energy flows.
Just flat out stop doing these acts when you catch yourself in them. And then move forward with the most positive emotion known to man. LOVE. Love the person. Literally say it over and over in your mind. Again, where focus goes energy flows. So you are negative a negative feeling with a positive one. And love will come back to you because you are giving it. And what you give ultimately comes back to you. That is just on of the metaphysical laws of the universe.
Think About Your Goals
You cannot be caught up in feelings of jealousy when you engage in positive expectation and anticipation of the future. Try it. Super simple. Next time you get jealous, think about your biggest life goal. If this doesn’t help you negate the feelings of jealousy, then you don’t have big enough goals that are inspiring you. And that is OK because we can create new and bigger goals for ourselves.
When we have big goals and think about them, we get a bigger vision of ourselves. A bigger vision of our capabilities and expectations of ourselves. We become so damn tunnel visioned that we may not even see ourselves having time to be jealous. Because it isn’t conducive to us getting our goals. It is taking away energy that we need to get after this life if a driven way.
Is Your Jealousy Because of Lack of Trust?
I had a friend who dated someone who was still in a relationship. The girl ended breaking it off with the guy a few months later. And then went exclusively with my friend. But the entire relationship was built on horrible foundation.
There was obviously always trust issues. Especially on my friends side. And it ate him up. Caused him to get jealous literally whenever any guy was around his girlfriend and later on his wife. And the relationship self destructed. It ended badly.
I am not saying you have or ever will be in a relationship like this. But the fact of the matter is that we need to see why we are being jealous. I am expanding on this one because often times in relationships we are jealous because maybe the person has shown reasons to be jealous. Or vice versa.
Which I want to encourage you to get out of the relationship as fast as you would get out of a burning building if this is the case. Eliminate the cause of jealousy if it is the other person giving you reasons to be. Don’t stick around hoping they will change. Life is way too short for that friend.
And if you are the reason, then get out of the relationship and work on yourself tirelessly. So you don’t bring that into your next relationship. You will bring an entirely new you into the next one. So you don’t ever have to experience jealousy again in a relationship.
It is too toxic of an emotion to deal with on a consistent basis. It can cause physical, mental and emotional pain. Do all you can do get eliminate the cause by being real with yourself about where it is coming from.
Journal Out Your Jealous Feelings
Journaling can be like uncorking our emotions that are trapped in us like they would be in a bottle. They pour out of us more effectively and efficiently when we pop the cork off.
Take time throughout the week to sit down and manage your feelings of jealousy by writing them out. This will reflect back to you your own insecurities. Which you can identify in plain site. And rip out the root where it is.
It will give you a game plan on what you need to change to eliminate jealousy out of your life.
Maybe you are in a relationship and you are jealous that your significant other is being looked at at the office. You can see this and then communicate to your significant other your feelings. Helping you build more trust in your relationship by being honest. This will deepen your relationship and create more trust that will help eliminate feelings of jealousy.
Talk It Out With A Friend
When it comes down to it, jealousy can be such a powerful emotion that we can be trapped in it. Often times it helps to get an outside perspective.
Ask a friend to tell you how he or she sees your jealousy. Give them the absolute freedom to be real with you and tell you the absolute truth. Let them know that they don’t have to hold back. That you are more interested in your growth a person than potentially feeling offended.
Then use that information to grow from.
This can help you take off the rose colored glasses that are clouding your perception. Then do your best to see it from their eyes. See it from this new perspective.
Which can help you transform the way you are looking at the things you are jealous about. Transform these perspectives into more enlightening vantage points where you can see things objectively.
Conclusion To Stop Being Jealous
So there are a quick 11 tips for how to stop being jealous for good in both relationships and life in general.
Share with me your thoughts about the article. What your favorite tip was that you are most excited to put into practice to end jealousy.
As well as if you have anything to add!
Let’t chat in the comment section below!