I used to hate getting told NO.
I mean one of the first words we hear and learn is NO.
We are told NO so many more times in this life than we are told YES.
We fear NO because it means we aren’t getting what we want.
This is engrained in us at a very early age. Then we grow up and fear taking consequences that lead us to being told NO.
How do we break out of this pattern? Stop fearing the world NO and actually use it to our advantage?
We’ll, I’m glad you asked.
And the answer to your problems is simple.
But before I get into the meat of the point I am trying to share with you, I want to give you a bit of motivation.
Being told NO is not a personal rejection. Never take it as that.
When we take it personal, it is hitting our ego hard. No one wants to be personally rejected. It is too dangerous to feel this way. As in a way, it is a threat to our survival.
It makes us feel incredibly insecure. Which the biggest need in all of humanity is the need to feel SECURE.
So when we start seeing rejection as something that is aimed towards our offer, not us, we transform the meaning.
We start creating a world that is more of a STOP sign instead of a TURN AROUND sign.
We get hit with it. We stop. Then we move forward. For take a different route.
So, right now, I want you to commit to not taking rejection personally.
If you ask a person out and they say NO, that is OK! They aren’t rejection YOU as a person. They are simply rejecting your offer to go out.
Maybe they have a mate already. Maybe they aren’t emotionally ready. Maybe they are gay and your straight or their straight and your gay!
Whatever it may be, it is NOT personal.
Once we start seeing “rejection” from this point of view, it becomes less intense and scary.
Instead of avoiding situations where we could be told no, we proceed. Proceeding with much less caution. A more brave version of ourselves emerges by embracing this mentality.
Also, the only way to get rid of fear is by doing the thing you fear.
But the fantastic thing about this fact is that the more you do the things you fear, fear not only diminishes in that single area, but in EVERY single other area of fear you have.
I noticed this beautiful fact when I started cold calling for leads in real estate.
Now, if you have ever cold called, you know how dreadfully scary those first few calls can be.
But as a matter of fact, the first few MONTHS are intensely nerve racking.
After months of being scared during cold calling, I thought to myself, I can NOT do this long term!
But about 4 months in, I got ready to do my first call one day and I felt 80 percent less fear than I had for the first 4 months of my cold calls.
I had a feeling come over me, it was more EXCITEMENT, then fear.
And each NO I got just rolled off of me. It wouldn’t affect me nearly as much.
I had better conversations. I was less fearful of handling objections that came up.
I also started getting more quality leads with the people I was talking to.
So this is just a little tangent on the power of NO. I spun it and used it to my advantage.
But in order to feel better about rejection and hearing no, I had to keep going. Which is the first thing I want you to do when adopting this new standpoint on hearing the word NO. Keep going.
Can you do that?
No matter how many times you hear NO on a particular thing you are fighting for, or trying to succeed at, you keep going.
After a while, you will stop taking it personal. You will keep going when others quit. And with more attrition around you, the easier it is to win. And with it being easier to win, you will become a champion faster.
And like the saying goes, nothing breeds success like success. Meaning that once your opponents fall away, you will be left as a champion. All alone and on the throne. And you will continue to succeed now that you proved to yourself and the universe that you are willing to eat SHIT as long as it takes.
For some reason, when you commit to this, and then take the actions necessary, the universe seems to give up after a while. It wants to help you instead of block you. It is simply a right of passage that you have to go through.
You walk though the valley of the shadow of death. But you don’t fear dying in that valley, because you have a vision of the end of the valley.
Light at the end of the tunnel if you will.
You will experience fear along the way. But don’t let it stop you. Champions don’t let fear stop them. They acknowledge it and move forward.
It is beyond OK to be scared. That is normal.
But if you let fear stop, you will adopt a loser mentality. You will live the way losers live. And you will get to your deathbed with many many regrets.
Let that sink in.
Don’t cave into the fear to give up before you win.
Take NO’s in stride.
Count them as wins by attaching some sort of monetary value to it.
Like if I make 100 cold calls and one person buys or sells a home with me. I make 10K.
That means EVERY single NO I got, was worth 100 dollars to me!
I love hearing NO now.
You won’t win all the battles, but you can win the wars that count. If you just brush off the rejections and move forward regardless. Until you win.
So from this day forward, make NO your vitamin.
Realize WHY we are so scared of NO. It is just programming and conditioning from childhood. Society made us fear it.
Maybe the fear of NO was beneficial at some point in our young life.
It kept us from doing things we shouldn’t. Maybe not.
All I know is that in the real world, in adult life, it shouldn’t be looked at as the end all be all.
To give you even more motivation, look at all the greats in this life.
For example, choose a famous figure you admire.
Go back and look at his or her history. How they came up and made a name for themselves.
I guarantee that they were told NO hundreds if not thousands of times.
But they didn’t let it stop them. They only used it as motivation. Or simply just moved onto the next.
WHEN THE WORLD TELLS YOU KNOW, YOU TELL IT NEXT!
Lastly, know why you are doing it. If you know the why, you can endure any how.
When you know what you want and why you want it, you will have enough gas in the tank to take you to victory.
See it in your mind. Of you getting yes’s and the responses you want from this world.