Self pity is an acid which eats holes in happiness.” – Earl Nightingale
Self pity is a self limiting place. It doesn’t allow you to see your potential and your ability to be bigger than your problems. And due to this fact, we cannot rise above it. We feel smaller than the problem. Hence we stay there and wallow.
It is also a vicious cycle to destruction as self pity leads to lower levels of self confidence. It takes away from us the ability to feel good about our selves and our future. Hence making us feel self pity even deeper and making it feel that much more real.
But there are sure fire ways out of self pity that we can use to get ourselves off of the downhill spiral. Launching us up and out of the depths and into the sky. Making us feel, look and appear so much bigger than staying in self pity.
But how do we get past self pity?
What are ways and methods we can use to get out of this state?
Well below I go into a myriad of practical tips we can use to obliterate self pity.
Definition of Self Pity
First off, it is also great to familiarize ourselves with the meaning of the words of the topic we are analyzing. So lets go to to the what the dictionary defines it as:
Excessive, self absorbed unhappiness over one’s own troubles.
So essentially self pity is a double edged sword in which we have REAL troubles, but then we add unhappiness on top of those troubles. Which, at the end of the day is fabricated by ourselves. We kick ourselves when we are down.
But at the end of the day, self pity, like anything else is a habit. And just like any other habit, the best way to get rid of it, is to replace it. Put in its place something more uplifting and powerful. Something that supports you.
Also, the tips below will help you break this habit. As well as tips on ideas and philosophies that will help you replace this habit. And break away from it much much more. Giving you a much more happy, peaceful and effective existence.
(Also, if you are experiencing self pity, and need a pick up, as we can need during these times, check out the post I created your for here: 500 Motivational Quotes)
How To Get Out of Self Pity (Practical Tips)
Take A Minute To Wallow
Something as destructive as self pity is very natural. We feel bad for and about ourselves because often times as children, someone would come and console you. But we are no longer little tikes anymore. No one wants to or is going to come save us. We need to be our own savior. Our own leader. And master of our own emotions.
Realize that it is a natural thing. Something that most likely stems from childhood. But, instead of wallowing in your own sorrow long term, give yourself one minute. Wallow heavily for a minute. Then after that, it is time to move on. Don’t ever bring up what you are indulging in self pity about again. Give it enough attention and then none after that.
Realize It Gets You Nowhere
Sure it may feel good to sit around in a pity party. We have all done it. But life is incredibly short. Every second you are sulking takes up one second of happiness. Ask yourself this: “Has anything good every came out of you indulging in self pity?”. For me, the answer to that question is a big fat NO. Realizing this can help us realize it is a huge waste of time to sit around pittying ourselves.
It is a complete waste of energy. Chanel that sucker into something productive.
Next time you are about to start the process of self pity, simply remind yourself of this fact. And it may allow you to stop self pity right in its tracks.
Momentary Pleasure For Long Term Pain
It feels good to pity ourselves, but it is making us weak. It is putting us in victim mode. Not allowing us to access higher levels of vibrating emotions. It also attracts negative things and other people that are in pity parties. Of course you have heard the phrase “Birds of a feather flock together”. We attract what we are. When we indulge in self pity, are opening up our conscience to attract other people who get trapped in self pity. This creates a life where abundance and access to complete happiness is completely cut off and out of the equation. It is momentary pleasure traded for potential long term suffering.
Realize It Is Unattractive
Self Pity is honestly one of the most unattractive things states of being we can ever take on. It looks horrible. We honestly look childish. Remember this fact when you do so. No one likes it when people are in pity parties. You have never heard something positive said about someone who is in a pity party. I am not saying life isn’t tough, but it is tough for everyone.
Life hands you lemons. And you can either squeeze them in your eyes. Or make lemonade out of them. Be the person that rises from the ashes out of the lemons that life throws at you. When the option of self pity knocks at your door, simply close and lock the door. And walk through the door of courage. Put on a happy face when you should have a sad one. Persevere through tough times so that they can strengthen you. As self pity does nothing but make us weak and vulnerable.
Realize You Can’t Help Anyone With Self Pity
When we are in a state of self pity, we can not only not help ourselves, but anyone in our lives. We have people in our lives that rely on us. That need us to be strong. That need us for hope and strength. You make yourself incredible weak when indulging in self pity. And all the people who need you are unable to feel your strength when you are trapped in it. You are a strong person and a rock. Be that rock for yourself and people and do away with self pity for good.
Self pity goes hand in hand with self absorption. When we are self absorbed, all the energy is on ourselves. We only care about our self desires. When you are dealing with self pity, turn your awareness outside of yourself as fast as possible. Text a friend and ask them how their life is going. How you can help them. How is their family and friends doing. How is their job. Volunteer your time. Go out and do a few random acts of kindness. Get out in the world and see how you can help it become a better place. There really is no way to get out of a state of self pity faster than with this tip.
Spring Into Action
When it comes to self pity, it is like being trapped and going through a downhill spiral. Once you start pitying yourself about one thing that has happened to you, the door is opened up for more. The less you are doing, the more time you are giving yourself to sulk in your sorrow. The best thing to do is start being active right away. Go for a walk though nature. Go workout. Go shoot some hoops. Anything to do that gets your awareness and attention on your body. And not on what your mind is telling you to do. It will also be a great way to channel your emotions by exercising your body. And helping you to let go of self pity
Focus On The Good
Self pity is never dwelling and focusing on the good. It always has to do with the negative. But even if your life is truly terrible right now, there is always something positive happening. Shift gears to thinking about all the good things that are going on in your life. The things you are grateful for. The people that love and are about you.
This can negate the feelings of self pity. And shift your who energy to that of feeling more positive and optimistic. If you have to dwell, dwell on the positive.
Think About Your Goals
We cannot be anxious, depressed or in a state of self pity when we think about our goals. If you do not have your goals written, write them down. This can help you get out of a state of self pity very quickly. It gives you hope for a better future. As well as allows your awareness to focus on positive things. Focusing on your goals can act as a delete button for any and every thought revolved around self pity. It also shows you that there is hope for a better future out side of what you are pitying yourself about.
Give Yourself A Dose Of Realism
Our thoughts can make us believe absurd things. Often times when we are in a state of self pity, we are in denial and delusion. The mind can play games on us during these times. Make us think things are worse than they really are. For example we can tell ourselves that “This is the end of the world” or that “Our life is over”. Phrases that completely blow things out of proportion. So check your thoughts for their validity. Instead of getting trapped in their false truth. This will allow you to give yourself real perspective when it comes to matters of self pity. It can also allow you to take the power back and get yourself out of that state.
Rid Yourself of Perfectionism
Self pity deeply stems from perfectionism. We believe that we need to do everything right. To not make mistakes or mishaps. To walk a perfectly straight line. This rigidity creates feelings of self pity when we don’t get it right. But at the end of the day we need focus on all the good choices we have made in life. All the times we have made people happy. All the goals we have accomplished.
And then forgive ourselves when we don’t measure up to the standards we have set. To learn and grow when we don’t.
Taking this type outlook on life will allow us to rid ourselves of self pity much much faster.
It is letting our own selves off the hook. For not being perfect. No one is. And when we realize that we don’t need to be these robots who do everything perfect all the time, we relax a bit. We sink into the reality that we all fall short. But loving ourselves when we do.
Accept the fact that being human is complex. And that this experience on earth is something we are all trying to do our best through.
Give yourself some credit for trying to do your best.
Self imposed grace can get us out of states of self pity very fast.
Know things in life, like you will feel inferior to people. That this is natural. But don’t go into self pity because of it. Let it be your alert to take action that will allow you to feel more level with this person. This will get you into proactive action.
Accept That Life Is Painful
Coming to the grips with this fact is imperative to crushing self pity. Life is suffering. But there is a ton of pleasure to be found to. But at the end of the day, black and white, you will go through pain. Self pity is often centered in the belief that there shouldn’t be tough times. That everything is going to be all sunshine and rainbows.
Life hits hard at times. But you have to keep going. Don’t stay there. Like a fighter that is wounded. Use your pain. Get angry and revved up about it. Don’t let it knock you to the ground for a KO. Get back up and strike back at life with a telling blow.
Make a story out of your dark times. A story of triumph. That will both inspire yourself and other people.
The more you do this, the more you callus your mind.
Like in the gym. The more tough reps and sets you go through, the more your hands are callused. If you hold on to the weight, that is.
The same is true about life.
If you are constantly holding on, in spite of difficulties, you will end up callusing yourself. You will become tough. Tough times have the ability to make you stronger. See it as that. Because without them, we become soft. And the world will pummel soft people.
Take the attitude of try me, instead why me.
Failure is something that we are all scared of naturally. But you are not cemented as a failure until you completely quit. OR don’t try at all. The one that is in the ring getting marred, bruised and beaten is 100 times a warrior and courageous then those who never stepped foot in the ring.
Life is going to beat us up a bit. But if we are constantly striving in the face of fear, then we can never be left with ourselves to mull over never trying. Mulling in the presence of thoughts about how we should never try because we will ultimately end up failing.
Embrace the idea that failure is simply a redirection. You are not being rejected you are being redirected. With this philosophy, you can almost laugh at temporarily failures and setbacks. Instead of wallowing in them. You use them as stepping stones to your ultimate victories.
Take Full Responsibility For Your Life
This has been one of my favorite go to tips for many things I have written about here in our community of personaldevelopfit.com. It is a problem solver. And one of the best ways to take charge of your life.
We are adults and we need to act like it. Taking responsibility for everything that happens in your life is a way of saying that you are adult. And the world treats you like one. And you treat yourself like one.
Adulthood is about rising above childish ways and self destructive behaviors. Taking responsibility for our existence shows the world that we have reached adulthood.
Doing so also shows that we had some sort of hand at what we are feeling pity about. It shows that everyone plays a part in both negative and positive experiences. An that we had our part in it to.
It shows us that other people are human too. That we all mess up. It allows us to bestow empathy on other people. Instead of staying in self pity for things people do to us. Which may seem as if we are letting them win.
But in actuality we are winning. We are moving on. Which makes us go more with the flow of life. Life is always changing. Things that don’t change become stagnant, wither away and die.
The same can be said about us in self pity. We are halting the state of flow that we need to be in. We are letting ourselves become stagnant. Which creates a sense of temporary or permanent decay in our existence.
Taking responsibility for the part you played. As well as what you are going to do to overcome things will allow you to not even entertain self pity. It will allow you to stay in the flow of life, which is where happiness and abundance can be found.
Without taking responsibility, you are essentially saying that you are powerless. Which is horribly wrong. We are human beings with minds capable of genius. Of bodies that can lift hundreds of pounds. And capable of working for hours and hours at a time. We are machines in a sense with a ton of capability. We are the exact opposite of powerless, we are full of power.
If you are not taking responsibility for your life, you are looking for someone to come solve your problems. And like I discussed earlier, no one is coming to save us. When we come to terms with it, we finally do away with self pity. We rely solely on ourselves for our own salvation. We are the saviors and the heroes of our own existence.
Even if you seem to have played no role in what you are feeling pity about, it is a better place to see yourself as the responsible one. Being the adult and moving forward from it. This is the sign of you becoming bigger person, and transcending destructive ways that are keeping you from true happiness.
Identify Yourself as a Survivor, Not a Victim
When we are in self pity, we are experiencing a state being in victim mode. A ticket that we have cashed for admittance into the pity party. But the thing is, that when we turn the tables and see ourselves as survivors, we become more bold about our experience. We see ourselves as winners that are capable of surviving. A warrior in all sense of the word.
Take this outlook when you are experiencing self pity. And you will see yourself triumphing over the tough times. Instead of letting them beat you, you beat them. And not only will your see yourself as a surviver. You will see yourself as a thriver.
Prioritize Your Happiness Over Self Pity
We all want to be happy. For reasons that are different for all, but I feel as if it is our true nature, that we are trying to get back to feeling and experiencing this true nature.
This talk is for another post! But anyways, we need to prioritize our own happiness over things that are getting us away from it. One of those things being self pity. We are seeking the approval from others when we do it. We are searching for people to come and save us. But the realization that most likely, no one is ever going to, needs to be accepted. The only person that has the capability to come save us is OURSELVES. And the first step to being our own savior is to do things that make us happy. Self pity is not one of these things. Heck, indulge in a little bit of self care instead.
Here is a list of self care ideas that I have created for you that you can use to counteract self pity! 61 Self Care Ideas
Quiet Your Mind
There are no problems in the present. Our problems and the problems of the world disappear when we are centered in the moment. Our ego is the sole creator of our perceived problems. When you look at life’s problems, the way you look at them can put fuel on the fire. Or snuff it out completely.
There are people in life that go through the exact same things. Horrid things that no human should have to suffer through. One let’s it destroy them. But the other allows it to make them into what they are today. To build themselves up through. And become something from it. They build off of it instead of being buried under it.
Anyways, the thing about it is that problems are gone during the present moment. We need to live life this way in order to not let self pity overtake us. Meditation is a great way to do this. So is simply being in nature.
If you are looking for other ways to do so, I wrote an entire article on it. Check it out here:
How To Live In The Moment (15 Practical Tips)
Realize People Have It Worse
I don’t care how lame this is of a tip. Or how it brings us back to our parents telling us to eat all of our food because people are starving overseas. It is damn true. Life is hard. But someone out there has it a lot harder than us. And that if they can get up in the morning, dust themselves off, and create some semblance of a normal existence, then so can we.
Remind yourself of the fact that people have it hard. Hell even look online at pictures, videos and stories of people that do have it harder than us. Let that inspire you and give you the motivation to step the hell out of self pity.
It will also give you a deep sense of compassion for others. Which you cannot be in a state of self pity when you are feeling compassion for your fellow mankind. It is literally impossible. It is like trying to smile and frown at the same exact time.
Give it a try. It can be a very powerful tool to get you to the other side of self pity.
Realize That Life Happens For You, Not To You
When we are being a victim, we are feeling as if life is beating us down. That it won’t let up. Why us? Why is God doing this to us? Why us when we are doing so much to try to get and become better.
This is when we are feeling as if life is happening TO us. That puts us in a very vulnerable position in which we are feeling as if we have no control at all. Which is a horrible feeling in itself. As one of the main things we want and need in life is the feeling of being in control. No one likes to be out of control.
So to gain a feeling of being in control, we need to look at life as if it is happening FOR us. That everything that comes into our existence is there to benefit us fully and completely.
That life is one our side. That it has our back. And is trying to teach us the hard knocks in order to make us stronger. And to push us to where are soul really desires to be.
Seeing it in this light will get us out of self pity. As when you see like in this light, there is no reason to pity yourself. You know things are simply happening for a bigger purpose. That bigger purpose being the universe trying to help you in some way, shape or form. And that everything happens for a reason.
You will feel a deep sense of connection and harmony with the world. You are no longer resisting the flow of life. You are going with it. Like swimming down river instead of up it.
Identify The Insecurity Behind It
When we are in a state of self pity, often times we feel as if we are inferior. Inferior to people, inferior because we don’t have enough education, because we are a certain race, certain height, male or female, too young or too old, too tall or too short. Not athletic enough. To tired or too energetic. Identify that insecurity. We can do a ton of personal growth by listening and reading good things.
But the foundation will be crushed until we turn inside and face our demons. And self pity is a great time to do just that. To, one by one, pluck out our insecurities. And take off the mask for good.
Once you identify the one or more insecurities behind the self pity, you can then create a plan to overcoming these insecurities. It could be simply letting go of them. Or it many be more complex. Like going back to school. Breaking up with someone. Quitting a job.
Going to seminars to help you overcome limitations. The main thing is to face your insecurities. During these down and out moments, if you face insecurities then, at your darkest hour, it will become more easier to face them during better times.
You will set up a path to which you can become almost superhuman. Crushing through insecurities and limitations. Leaving you to be happier and believe in yourself more and more.
In turn, self pity will soon become a thing of the past.
Laugh At It
There is something about laughter that transcends pain. It is through laughter that in a study done, help people suffering from chronic pain and improve quality of life. Which the study showed that pain tolerance was increased during the study in which the participants laughed at comedy films for 20 minutes. It activated the release of endorphins in which helped relieved muscular tension.
You can check out the extent of the study here at Medical News Today.
The same can be true of our times of self pity. We are experience a sense of pain. Either real or self inflicted. But if we can laugh and smile our way through it, we can transcend that pain. Making ourselves more tough. And get through it faster and most effective.
Self Pity Conclusion
So there a few tips that I hope help you fight through self pity. To use it as a time to grow through instead of go through. Always remember to, always focus on doing things that support your personal growth.
That will allow you to create a stronger hide, by constantly bettering yourself. This will help you avoid self pity more and more as you see your value. And you are valuable.
It is like dust being on a very beautiful and expense painting. We just need to blow off the dust to see the beauty that has been there the whole entire time. That paining is you and growing as a person will slowly and surely start to blow the dust off that reveals the timeless gem that you are.
Share with me what you think about the tips I offered up to you. And if you have any good ones to add that can help us all obliterate self pity.
Let’s talk in the comment section below!
75 Self Pity Quotes
- “Self pity is easily the most destructive of non-pharmaceutical narcotics. It is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality.” – John Gordon
- “Discontent, blaming, complaining, self-pity, cannot serve as a foundation for a good future, no matter how much effort you make.” – Eckhart Tolle
- “Feeling sorry for yourself and your present condition, is not only a waste of energy, but the worst habit you could possibly have.” -Dale Carnegie
- “Today, shake off the self pity. Shake off the disappointment and realize that God has you in the palm of His hand. Know that He has good plans in store for your future, better than you could ever imagine. Trust Him with your whole heart today and every day.”
- “Self pity gets you nowhere. One must have the adventurous daring to accept oneself as a bundle of possibilities and undertake the most interesting game in the world. Making the most of one’s best.”
- “Self-pity doesn’t serve us. It only reinforces the mistaken belief that our happiness is beyond our control. If you are unhappy with the reality of your life, do something about it. Make the different choices. Don’t complain about how difficult life is. That only makes it harder, guaranteed. Yes, life can be unfair. Often painful. That’s never a reason to give up, or to give in, to relentless, debilitating self-pity.” – Scott Stabile
- “It is only a step from boredom to disillusionment, which leads naturally to self-pity, which in turn ends in chaos.” – Manly Hall
- “Refuse self pity. Refuse it absolutely. It is a deadly thing with power to destroy you. Turn your thoughts to Christ who has already carried your griefs and sorrows.” – Eilsabeth Elliot
- “I do not have time for people that wallow in self pity. Life’s a bitch, be proactive about your happiness or shut up.” – Lauren Clements
- “People who pity themselves think, ‘Why would I try to do anything? I’ll just fail.” – Joyce Meyer
- “Fear is a habit, so is self pity, defeat, anxiety, despair, hopelessness and resignation. You can eliminate all of these negative habits with two simple resolves: I can! and I will!” – Anonymous
- “In life, you can blame a lot of people and you can wallow in self pity, or you can pick yourself up and say ‘listen I have to be responsible for myself.’ – Howard Schultz
- “Stop wallowing in self pity you deserve better.”
- “Don’t blame anyone or anything for your situation or problems. When yo udo that, you are saying that you are powerless over your own life, which is utter crap. An empowering step to reclaiming your life is taking responsibility.” – Jillian Michaels
- “Depression is unfocused self pity.” – Bill Wilson
- “I tell people to monitor their self pity. Self-pity is very unattractive.” – Patty Duke
- “You are not a victim, you’re still here. You may have been challenged, hurt, betrayed, beaten and discouraged but nothing has defeated you. You are still here! You have been delayed but not denied. You are not a victim, you are a victor. You have a history of victory.” – Dr. Steve Maraboli
- “Today I choose to live by choice, not by chance. To make changes, not excuses. To be motivated, not manipulated. To be useful, not used. To excel, not compete. I choose self-esteem, not self pity. I choose to listen to the inner voice, not the random opinion of others.”
- “Stop feeling sorry for yourself. It’s not going to help the situation. It’ll ony help you wallow in a state of apathy, playing the victim. The kind of person that things happen to but can’t do anything about it. By stopping feeling sorry for yourself, you can actually get on and do something about it. If you want to be happy, stop feeling sorry for yourself. Self pity is our worst enemy, and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world.” – Hellen Keller
- “Self pity becomes your oxygen. But you learned to breathe it without a gasp. So nobody even notices when you’re hurting.”
- “Don’t feel sorry for yourself, if you have chosen the wrong road, turn around.” – Edgar Cayce
- “Anger, resentment, envy and self pity are wasteful reactions. They greatly drain one’s time. They sap energy better devoted to productive endeavors.” – Ruth Bader Ginsburg
- “A self absorbed person only can see the faults of others but they are often color blind to their own.”
- “Self pity is the devil, and if I wallow in it, I cannot be used by God for his purpose in the world.” – Oswald Chambers
- “If you want a positive and happy life then stop feeling self pity or seeking attention for your problems and take action towards creating a positive and fulfilling life.” – Hina Hashmi
- “I used to have a real problem with self-pity. Every time the devil would throw a pity party, I would attend.” – Joyce Meyer
- “Shake off the self-pity, shake off the defeat and get read for God to do something. He is going to pay you back for ever injustice.” – Joel Osteen
- “If there is one thing than self-pity, it was other people pity.” – C.J. Duggan
- “Shake off the self-pity, shake off the defeat and get read for God to do something new.”
- “Self pity will keep you immobilized so that your future is no different than your past.”
- “5 things to free yourself from: anger: it breeds hatred, greed:it makes you selfish, regret: it brings sorrow, self pity: it causes lack of self confidence, worry: it leads to a stagnant life.”
- “Inside your own self pity, there you swim, in sinking down to drown her voice still haunts you, and only with your laughter can you win.” – Joni Mitchel
- “Self-pity comes so naturally to all of us. The most solid happiness can be shaken by the compassion of a fool.” – Andre Maurois
- “Self-pity is a dead end road. You make the choice to drive down it. It’s up to you to decide to stay parked there or to turn around and drive out.” – Tiny Beautiful Things
- “Poison is to food what self pity is to life.”
- “I never saw a wild thing feel sorry for itself. A small bird drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself.” – D.H. Lawrence
- “Maybe sometimes you have to stop waiting for someone to come fix what’s wrong. Maybe sometimes you have to stop feeling sorry for yourself and realize no one has the right answer. Maybe sometimes you have to be your own hero.”
- “Self pity is the worst possible emotion anyone can have. And the most destructive. It is, to slightly paraphrase what Wilde said about hatred, and I think actually hatreds a subset of self pity and not the other way around. It destroys everything around it, except itself.” – Stephen Fry
- “Honestly, sitting around feeling sorry for yourself won’t change anything. IF you want to your life to change, you have to do something about it.” – Sonya Parker
- “If I awaken to all life has to offer, let me do so not out of sense of pity but with a renewed sense of pride.” – Eleesha
- “All depression is has it’s roots in self pity. And all self pity is rooted in people taking themselves too seriously.” – Robbins Tom
- “Gratitude is a dialysis of sorts, it flushes the self pity our of our systems.” – Max Lucado
- “Never feel self pity. The most destructive emotion there is. How awful to be caught up in the terrible squirrel cage of self.” – Millicnet Fenwick
- “I’m a fairly tormented artist and I’m less willing to indulge myself in the self pity, outside of songwriting.” – Dave Matthews
- “Self pity is a sin. It is a form of living suicide.” – Charls J. Shields
- “She has no room in her life for self pity. She’s about the business of what she’d doing. It’s a formula that works for her. “- Guy Thomas
- “Self pity, personal withdrawl, or deep despair will not bring the peace, the assurance or help which are needed. Rather, we must go forward, look upward, move onward and rise heavenward.” – Thomas S. Monson
- “Self pit in it’s early stage is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.” Maya Angelou
- “You can be pitiful or you can be powerful, but you can’t be both at the same time.”
- “Self pity is the worst form of poison. It kills a person without the person realizing it.”
- “Space yourself from the indulgence of self pity. It is always self defeating. Subdue the negative and emphasize the positive.” – Gordon B Hinkley
- “If you keep telling the same sad, small story, you will keep living the same sad small life.” – Jean Houston
- “If you are scratching your head wondering why you continue to find yourself in the same storm, stop splashing around in mud puddles. Figure out the role you have played in making it rain.” – Lacey Johnson
- “Self pity is a disease that does not kill, but corrodes.” – Aidan Chambers
- “There’s only one rule you need to remember, laugh at everything and forget everybody else. It sounds egotistical, but i’s actually the only cure for those suffering from self pity.” – Anne Frank
- “Self pity is a curse which may lead to indignant behavior while a calm, non competitive mind achieves great feat. Competing with oneself leads to blessing, while comparing oneself to others and then competing is a destructive path.” – Henrietta Newton Martin
- “Those who hate are merely wallowing in self pity. Those who lie about someone to destroy his or her spirit, are simply trying to hide their fragile egos.” – Emma Paul
- “It doesn’t help to wall in self-pity. We’re trying.” – Cindy Salerno
- “Self pity looks outside itself to be rescued. Self responsibility finds a solution within.”
- “Identity is not inherent. It is shaped by circumstance and sensitivity and resistance to self pity.” – Dorothy West
- “You can never win when you wear the ugly cloak of self pity and the sour sound of whining.” – Og Mandino
- “Self pity? I see no moral obligations to it, the smell drives people away, but that’s a practical objection, and occasionally an advantage.” – E.M. Forster
- “Self pity is a dead end road.” – Cheryl Strayed
- “Cancel your pity party. Pull yourself together and take total ownership of everything in your life.”
- “Self pity is never useful. It tends to distort like a fun house mirror.” – Anne Roiphe
- “Tell the negative committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up.” – Ann Bradford
- “Don’t fight what you cannot control. Mandela didn’t blame his captors or ask himself ‘Why me?’.” He silenced the voice of self pity and choose courage instead. He took what life threw at him and turned it into a lesson.”
- “Not enjoying what is happening right now is living in the past and being only half alive. This leads to self pity, suffering and tears.” – Don Miguel Ruiz
- “We are not going to win because you have a new head coach, any more than you are going to fix a flat tire by changing the driver. We all win the minute all of us get rid of excuses as to why we can’t sin and stop wallowing in self pity.” – Lou Holtz
- “I choose to live by choice, not by chance. To make changes, not excuses. To be motivated, not manipulated. To be useful, not used. To excel, not compete. I choose self esteem, not self pity. I choose to listen to my inner voice, not the random opinion of others.”
- “Playing the victim card blinds you to your own flaws and so you can never improve. Self pity is the easiest way to create unilateral misery.” – Sri Sri
- “The more self pity you feel, the more self defeated you become. Self pity is a form of negativity. Replace self pity with self love and reassurance that you can get through anything life throws your way. You are strong.”
- “We have all been through a lot of shit in our lives, the difference is some of us choose not to play the victim.”
- “The world doesn’t owe you happiness, health, love, respect or money. The world owes you nothing. You are where you are because of your decisions, not because of your circumstances. Stop whining and stop being bitter. Take responsibility for yourself. Be big enough to say this is my life, I’m responsible for it and I’m going to make something of it.”
- “Suffering is not just lots of pain, but pain amplified by distinctly human emotions such as regret, self pity, shame, humiliation and dread.” – Michael Pollan
Nichole | Wildly Alive says
“Always remember to, always focus on doing things that support your personal growth.”- Yes, indeed. We need to focus on the positive side. And we need to stop remembering all our mistakes. We should allow ourselves to be human. And humans can make mistakes. Forgive yourself and others. We should focus on our growth. It may seem small growth, but always remember forward is forward. Always keep moving forward. No to self pity. Yes to self love.
What a great comment Nichole! Thanks for the value my friend 🙂 I couldn’t agree more. Like the man Martin Luther King himself said – “If you can’t fly, then run. If you can’t run, then walk. If you can’t walk, then crawl. But whatever you do, but by all means, keep moving forward!”
It will all add up if you keep our focus on growth and take action on a daily basis. It will all compound. And one day we will see what looks like a quantum leap in growth.
You said it best, yes to self love. No to pity.
Have a great day my friend 🙂