How To Make Good Friends
When it comes down to how to make friends, it is imperative that we master the art of making the RIGHT friends. Since we do become what we hang around.
We have all heard the phrase “You become the average of your 5 closest friends.” And “birds of a feather flock together.”
These quippy sayings and play on words have some deep truth to them. Hang out with someone long enough and you literally start to talk like them. Dress like them. Walk like them. And even EAT like them.
That is why it is imperative to make the right friends. To use the tips and tricks below to make good friends. Ones that are going to inspire you. Uplift you. And are going in a positive direction in life. People who have big life goals. People who want to be someone. Become someone. That want success, happiness and significance.
Because, to be extremely frank, life is just too short to be hanging out with losers. If you hang around losers, you will become a loser.
And I know you aren’t one because you wouldn’t be reading this post if you were a loser. You are looking for ways to change and attract new people into your life.
So here are a few of the best tips I know of on how to win friends and influence people (if you will!)
How To Make New Friends (9 Ways To Meet New People)
Use Your Surroundings
At the end of the day, there are places in our lives that we go to where we don’t put a lot of effort into building relationships deeper than they are.
Places like work, the gym or the coffee shop.
But these places are great spots to make new friends because of the fact that people already know you. These people are not cold leaders AKA strangers.
They are people that already know you and are familiar with you. So therefore are more open and receptive to going out and hanging out outside of that particular place.
So next time you are at work, the gym or the coffee shop, strike up a nice conversation with someone there. Introduce or re-introduce yourself and ask if they ever want to grab some food or go on a hike or walk your guys dogs together.
You never know, your new bestie could just be waiting for you in the places you frequent most!
Then remember the first two steps! Use their name repeatedly and treat them like the most important person that ever existed!
Look Up Local Clubs, Groups & Meetups That Interest You
The tough part about meeting new friends and making new friends is that you have to find a commonality. And I am not just talking about taking the same trip to CABO. We need to find a commonality that is consistent in their lives and ours.
We can do this by joining groups and clubs that share our common interests.
It is breaking the ice for us. Putting us in an environment where we feel a sense of comradery already because we have something in common.
So I’ll admit, I have been swiping on Bumble for a bit now after my last relationship! As a matter of fact, that is how me and my last GF met!
But I stumbled upon the section “Bumble BFF” one day by accident. I had no idea it even existed! It is literally a place where people look for new homies.
I mean hey, it may be a little weird, but no shame right! You never know, this free app may be destiny for you and your BFF’s universes colliding.
Go Through Your Contacts
If you are like me, you have a massive amount of contacts that you have picked up over the years. Some of which you literally have no clue who they could be!
But at the end of the day, you put them into your contact list for a reason. Because you deemed them at least interesting our valuable enough to earn a spot in there.
So scroll through your list of contents and give a little shout out to some people. Ask them how they have been. Even be straight up with them and tell them how hard it is to meet and connect with like minded people.
People GET this. And more often than not, they will appreciate you saying “what’s up”. This could spark a new awesome friendship.
Get A Dog, Or Take You Dog To The Dog Park
If you have a dog, take the pup to the dog park. If you don’t have a dog, get one because dogs are the best. Then take it to the dog park.
This not only happens to be an excellent way to make friends. But it also happens to meet potential dates if you are single!
There is something about the dog park that just allows people to relax around strangers. As creepy as that sounds lol.
But really, it is more about the animals than it is the humans .At first that is. And then you can easily strike up a conversation about someone’s dog. Well, because lets face it, most people treat their pup better than they do their own family!
This may be one of the best ways to meet new people ever invented!
Do Your Continuing Education On Site
There are so many things we can do to further our education that can make us more valuable in the market place. Or to learn new skills to branch out in the workplace.
A lot of these courses can be done onsite. So instead of doing your training online, do so at a campus or location.
You can meet people that are going to be in the same or similar fields as you. And you will have an instant connection because of it. Then you can ask them on a friend date for coffee.
You can also enroll in a class that peaks your interest. Something you are passionate about. Or to learn new skills.
Something that you want to learn more about or simply starting learning about. By enrolling in a course at a community college. Where you may meet new friends around your age.
Get Some Friend Referrals!
Tap your database. Check in with family members or other friends. See who they know and may be interested in making new friends. Or looking for new professional contacts.
A great new friendship can start out more in a business sense. In which you can talk to someone professionally, through your friends database, then mix business with pleasure from there.
You can connect with these people with a way to where you see how you can both bring mutual value to the relationship.
You can also ask current friends and family members to set up get together’s with them and the potential new friend. So that you have a common link between you two, present.
Go on a friend blind date!
Volunteering is a great way to meet new people. You are coming together in a pursuit to make your community, and the world at large, a better place.
People are very warm and receptive in these types of settings. There is something that brings people deep joy in the giving of themselves. A truly wonderful place when it comes to how to meet new friends.
Social Media Blast
This one can be a little intimidating as you are putting yourself out there to the masses. But you can literally do a “No Shame” post to your followers! Simply say something like “No shame but I am looking for new homies! Either professional or personal or both! Let’s get together and break some bread!”
Simple and easy. And at the end of the day, who cares what people think about you! You are putting yourself out there this way. Which takes courage. In which case you will be proud of yourself.
It is HARD making new friends as an adult. It isn’t like we are all on a playground like were back in the day! But, we actually are on an adult playground! And the online playground of social media can lead to some new adult buddies!
Figure Out What New Friend Prospects Like To Do
The best way to get people to like you is to get into rapport with them. And the best way to get into rapport with people figure out what they like to do. And then once you know this, follow up with them about doing something they like to do. Go see a movie in their favorite genre. Grab food at their favorite place. Whatever they like to do, go do it with them! And then dig deeper on WHY they like what they like.
People love to talk about themselves. And if you give them that courtesy of letting them talk, they will open up to you and feel very welcome in your presence. And if you do this right, I promise, you will have a friend for life.
10 Qualities Good Friend Makers Have
Treat People Like They Are The MOST Important
At the end of the day, whether we would like to admit it or not, we all think of ourselves as the most special person in the world. Even the most loving parents or the most loyal spouse. They still think of themselves as special and being superior to everyone else in the world. Don’t worry, we ALL think this way.
So knowing and accepting this fact, we can use it to our advantage when it comes to making new friends.
For the next 30 days, when you meet new people, or see people you know, treat them as such. Bestow upon them what they want the most. TO FEEL SPECIAL. Treat them as if they are the most special person in the world. Give them recognition. Which is something we all want and deeply desire.
If you do this, you will make friends fast. Faster than you can imagine. Because rarely, if ever has anyone ever treated them this way. And you will be the first ever or first in a long time.
And because of it, they will naturally want to hang around with you. Get to know you. And just be with you.
And it also feels great to do so. As whenever you are making someone else happy, you also feel a deep sense of happiness. A win-win.
Remember People’s Names & Use Them
When someone says our name, it is like music to our ears. Am I right? I mean it makes you feel darn good to hear your name. It shows that someone has enough respect to address us by our name. And it shows that they remember us.
It feels good. Again we feel recognized and most of all, significant. Which Tony Robbins talks about how the need for significance is something that all humans find a way to meet on some level.
And now you can be that person that makes people indulge in this human need of feeling significant.
Drop their name multiple times. It makes people feel as if they are the only person in the world that you care about at that moment.
I promise that this tactic alone will imprint on their brain positive thought images of you until the end of time.
Effort & Perseverance
You have to be consistent. In sales, they say when the world says no, you say NEXT! Not everyone is going to make a good match. Just get out there and play the numbers. Some people will, some people won’t, so what! Just keep making conversation with as many people as you can until you find your match!
Making good friends requires connection. And the single quality that all people that are good at building relationships are empathetic.
Do you remember a time when someone showed you empathy? Like you really felt as if they were feeling what you were feeling? And you felt super connected, cared for and NEEDED?
I know I have. And it feels amazing.
When we give this to people, we move to the top of their list of people they are interested in. And want to be around. You can make copious amounts of new friends by showing empathy to people.
The fortune is in the follow up! Sorry to keep going back to sales references but it is true. I have actually heard that it takes someone 16 times to see a brand to truly recognize it. And start to really get to know it.
Like for me, I kept hearing about Toastmasters. And it would go in one ear and out the other. But as I kept hearing about them, I started to recognize their name. I vaguely knew what they were about. Then I kept hearing about them more. And now I am going to be joining them at the end of the year to help with my public speaking skills!
When you meet people, give them “touches” as we call it in sales. Text them, call them, email them and try and bump into them out and about. The more “touches” you make, the more you will be in their mind as someone they are familiar with and want to know more about.
Push Through Fear
Meeting new people can be incredibly intimidating. It is like dating in a way! But the fact of the matter is that people who make new friends break through the fear of putting themselves out there.
To make new friends, we need to realize that everyone is worried about everyone else is thinking about us. It is just natural for humans. So when you meet new people, just know that they are just as insecure about the things you are insecure about!
They are worried about what you are thinking about them, and you are worried about what they are thinking about you!
But this is good, because you recognize and know this. Knowledge is potential power. So you can use this knowledge of knowing you are in the same boat as the other person. And then proceeding forward.
You can really learn and grow from people when you are completely open minded. At the end of the day people are different because we were all raised different. And because of this fact, we simply all have different backgrounds and view points because of it.
If you were raised Catholic, you are going to have different viewpoints as someone who was raised in China and has more Buddhist philosophies ingrained in them.
But that is what makes the world great. It takes all types. Different strokes for different folks. But when you hang out and get to know people from different backgrounds, we expand the way we think about and see the world at large.
And this brings more experiences, more joy and more empathy as we talked about. One of the main qualities of a great friend.
It can be easy to try to talk ourselves up when we are meeting new people. It is just natural to want to pain ourselves in a good light in front of new people.
But the fact of the matter is that when we think about it, we all just want raw and authentic relationships.
Most people aren’t going to judge you if you don’t have everything going for you. And if they do, they are very insecure and aren’t people that are going to be good friends to have anyways.
Be real with people. Being real allows you to connect faster and deeper. And it allows you to make a lot more REAL friends than it would if you were trying front like you have everything together.
Literally just focus on being yourself. The RIGHT people are going to love you for YOU. And the ones that don’t have no place in your life. And this is great because you weed out the people that are supposed to be there for only a season. And make room for people that are meant to be there for a REASON.
Let Them Know You Are There For Them
Regardless of how new or old the relationship is, it always feels great when we know our friend has our back. Let people know that you are there for them. That if they need to reach out at 2AM to talk, go right ahead!
It is probably never going to happen. But it really is the thought that counts.
The world is a stressful place. Most of us are always on the go. And we all have our own drama and problems. But it feels great to know that we can talk to someone about the ups and downs of life. Our own therapist in a way in which both sides can feel a sense of therapeutic relief through the relationship.
Mirror & Match
This is a form of Neuro-Linguistic Programming. In which the roots of NLP go back to a doctor named Milton Erickson. Which Milton would get on peoples level as we refer to it nowadays. And was a master at doing this with his patients.
If a patient came in and they were loud and pissed off about how nothing works for them, he would get pissed off about it too. And if someone came in more calm and reserved, he would lower his voice and change his tonality.
People would FEEL welcome in his presence when he would do this. And because of it, he was able to really connect with these people and help them and figure out the root cause of what was going on.
You can do the same thing with people. Match how they talk, the pace they talk, their gestures. And even if you can, the rate that the breathe at. Which is said to be the most powerful form of subconscious connection with someone.
Smiling shows that you are non-threatening. And when you smile at people, people literally have to smile back at you. Because what you give out in this world, it must come back.
And when people smile back at you, you have eased the tension of the energy field between you two. Making it much easier to create a quick and harmonious connection.
Conclusion To How To Get A Social Life
At the end of the day, I think these tips can really help you make more friends and keep some really good friends in the process.
Remember to always visualize potential new contacts as going great in your head. Because what we see in our head, manifests itself in the real world. So see yourself how you want to be with new people. And naturally your self image will change around meeting new people. And it will become a lot more easy and natural of a process.
Set some goals on how many people you want to meet per week. And do your best to hit that goal. Even if it is simply introducing yourself to one person a week.
The fact of the matter is that once you find one person that you are compatible with, chances are that they will have friends that they will introduce you to. And friend web will get massively bigger through just one person.
Remember to just stay vulnerable enough to really meet people with authenticity. And you will be surprised at how pleasant your interactions are. Because more people than you know want to make new friends, but just don’t know how to go about doing it. Or have the courage to do so. But you do.
Get out there and makes some rockin new buddies!
OK, now I want to hear from you! What was your favorite part of this article. And what do you feel was missing? Do you have any good tips that have helped you make new friends in the past?
Share with me your insight. I would love to learn from you my friend!
Until next time,
Leave a Reply